The PJ Tatler

Caption Contest Winners: Everything You Need To Know About the Democratic Party Is In This Picture and More DWS News

DWS

Credit: Debbie  Wasserman Schultz ✔ @DWStweets

Thanks to everyone who participated in our latest successful contest.

Due to the fact that there were multiple caption challenges, and many of you submitted numerous award winning entries, we will announce the winners by name and the number of winning entries.

Just a housekeeping note: For space considerations, Debbie Wasserman Schultz will be referred to as DWS. (At the end there will be some very important DWS news about how you can make her go away in November, so stick around.)

Now, let’s celebrate our winners based on the quantity of their greatness.

RockThisTown had six winning entries:

DWS: “Of course you can still vote for Hillary if you die before 2016! Multiple times, in fact!”

DWS: “Yes, Republicans & the NRA are trying to kill you!”

Man holding neck: “Can I get an AARP discount on a tracheotomy? You’ve sucked all the air out the room.”

Man in green shirt: “That face could stop a clock. Where’s Sarah Palin?”

Flag: Embarrassed to be seen with her.

Overall: The only thing DWS can get this crowd fired up for is pottery class.

The great and powerful cfbleachers had five winners:

Some of us aren’t Democrats, we’re in Depends ents

“Hillary sends her apologies for being unable to attend her class reunion with you tonight”

Saying: “Since we threw open the borders, there’s no longer any need for the word ‘New’ in this state anymore. (NOTE: The event was held in New Mexico)

“Ok, everyone…show me what Joe Biden would look like if he didn’t have fake teeth!”

That’s not an American flag, it’s the pin for the 18th green at Congressional Golf Course. They thought Obama was coming, not the Miami Medusa.

Allan Crowson also had five winning entries:

DWS: “I’m so pleased to appear before such a diverse group this afternoon!”

The American flag was not originally in the shot, but it photobombed DWS. The top of the flag was the only coherent point of the speech, by the way.

Man in green: “She reminds me of my granddaughter, the one who was always two squares short of a BINGO.”

Overall caption: More Substance in the Balloons Than in the Speaker!

Overall caption: DWS: None of the people I’ve talked to remembers any administration failures!

Wintermute had three hilarious winners:

DWS: “…And that’s why you should consider a reverse-mortgage with the DNC!”

DWS: “We need your support for the 2016 elections! Now, I realize most of you will be dead by then, so it’s even more important for you to write a check today!”

DWS: “So…that’s why we need to harvest your organs…”

The talented Chris Henderson had two winners:

“Great to be here! You all must be the ‘corpse-men’ Obama was talking about!”

Typical Democrat: Canvassing for dead voters.

Kenril had a winner while channeling George Orwell in “1984”:

The Democrats are the hip young party.  (War is peace. Freedom is slavery. Ignorance is strength.)

Allstonian made the judges laugh the loudest with:

Man in Blue – “Can’t…take…any more…must strangle myself to death…”

ZipCode won with:

And in conclusion, as soon as you make your donations, we will unlock the bathroom doors.

Reality Observer had a winner:

 Good… I see everyone got the tweet that we’re voting by the pound this year!

Finally, Fail Burton cracked up the judges with retro humor:

“No, Mr. Sanchez, I don’t know what it’s like to bayonet a ‘kraut’.”

As promised earlier, here is how you can make DWS disappear.

After the August 23 Florida primary a young Republican candidate named Joe Kaufman emerged as the winner and will oppose DWS for her seat in Florida’s 23rd congressional district.  No matter where you live, here is your chance to send a “love offering” to the future Congressman Kaufman. First, check out his campaign website and then you know what el$e to do!  Let’s all help Joe Kaufman become a dragon slayer in November!

See you next time a photo is worthy of a Tatler photo caption contest or we discover more ways to silence DWS.