The PJ Tatler

An Allergic Reaction

I’m a sneezer.

I sneeze a lot—in my office, in my car, at home, I sneeze. I even joke with friends that I sneeze in triplicate because, like potato chips, I can’t have just one.

My allergies are mostly to outdoor stuff: pollen, pet dander, mold, dust. And my eyes water and I definitely sneeze.

But the other day, I was out to dinner with my dad, and he did something that made me think more about allergies. He ate crab cakes. But he is allergic to crab; it often makes his lips puffy, etc.

So why did he eat crab, knowing he could have a problem? Because crab tastes good, and the reaction is delayed. Most of the time the reaction can even be eliminated with Benadryl. Instant gratification, and delayed symptoms.

I think this is politics in a nutshell.

People want a working government, they want ‘free’ stuff, and they want benefits. They vote for whomever is going to give them the most benefits, and don’t often think about the fact that they might have a negative reaction later.

I don’t like the idea of deporting people that are already ingrained into our society, and I believe the US should be a place where all who seek it can find freedom. So let’s support immigration reform, right? That’s the crab, and problems with legal immigrants being made to wait exorbitant amounts of time before they can even get their visas, is the puffy lip.

Common Core education standards are a nice warm basket of bread, and parents unhappy with their kids’ performance are the rashes. And diminishing test scores nationwide are the hives.

Speaking of education, Michelle Obama wanting everyone to eat healthier is like lactose milk, while kids going hungry, because they dropped their school lunch program, is the stomach pain.

The idea that all people should have access to healthcare is like heaving a super friendly dog, but Obamacare getting many people’s plans canceled, and the utter mismanagement of payments, is like the asthma attack.

And the idealistic notion that all people should get paid more, and that the wealthy should pay their fair share, is a sweet peanut butter and jelly sandwich, but our Gross Domestic Product shrinking the most in five years is the anaphylactic shock.

What seems good up front, is often the thing that can hurt you in the long run.

And the problem is that Benadryl only covers up the symptoms. It doesn’t cure the allergy, or end the desire for the instigating foods.

Benadryl is like the GOP—they can delay or relieve the symptoms of an out-of-control government, but they cannot convince people that they really want to give up on their quest for subsidized benefits.

The problem is, crab tastes good.