The PJ Tatler

Madonna Decides Against Offending Adherents to the Religion of Peace

Because…they might kill her.

Madonna has decided against wearing a Muslim bridal dress in her new music video over fears for her safety.

The 54-year-old singer was planning to don a ‘Terror Bride’ outfit – a combination of a traditional Iraqi bridal veil and a US soldier’s uniform – in the video for upcoming single ‘Superstar’ as a statement against oppression against women and war, but her advisers convinced her to ditch the political stunt because of the outrage it would be likely to cause.

A source said: ”Madonna had the outfit ready to go. She was really proud of it and said it was her ‘Terror Bride’ costume.

”She had paraded around in it and said she was going to wear it in her next music video.

”At first when people started telling her it was madness she just brushed it off.

”But when they mentioned that her actions could put her life at risk she decided to ditch it from her video and certainly won’t be wearing it on stage.”

The Material Girl has never been shy about offending Christians.

It sounds like she’s still prepared to offend supporters of the US military.

But offend Muslims? Offending Muslims would have been the edgiest thing Madge has done since the Reagan administration. But you can’t do that in what was once the land of the free. It’s not good for your health. It also might get President “The future must not belong to those who slander the prophet of Islam” on your back.