Modern Scripture

Acorn 8, Eric Holder Version

1 Chicago Jesus went unto the Hill of Capitol.

And early in the morning he came again into the Capitol, and all the Congress came unto him; and he held forth, and lectured them.


And the states and governors brought unto him a woman taken in voter fraud; and when they had set her in the midst,

They say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in voter fraud, in the very act.

Now passage of our law commanded us, that such should be punished: but what sayest thou?

This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. But Chicago Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote an executive order, as though he heard them not.

So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without picture ID among you, let him first cast indictment at her.

And again he stooped down, and wrote executive orders.

And they which heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Chicago Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst.

10 When Chicago Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee?

11 She said, No man, Lord. And Chicago Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and vote many times more.


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