The PJ Tatler

Austerity?!? US Centers for Disease Control Publishes Wedding Guide

“We’re sure it’s just a fluke that wedding season happens to coincide with hurricane season,” begins the United States Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s wedding guide.

Yes. The CDC has followed up its guide to surviving the zombie apocalypse with a wedding guide.

It offers helpful tips broken out into three sections: Build a Kit, Make a Plan, and Stay Informed! The exclamation point is theirs.

In that section, the CDC warns that “Emergencies could range from a tear in your wedding gown, tornado, health issues, monster-in-laws, or bridezilla on the loose.  It’s important to be aware of the possible issues and to do your homework.  Just like you know the risks of putting feuding family members in one room, you should also know to check the weather report.” Thanks! The exclamation point is mine in this case, and deployed sarcastically.

What any of the CDC’s advice has to do with its stated mission — controlling and preventing disease — is unclear to the Tatler. Unless “Bridezilla” is a communicable malady, anyway. It does appear to have reached pandemic status on cable.

As for the CDC, we seem to have an agency that has hired a marketer or two and is desperately in search of a mission. There just aren’t enough hideous bugs around these days.