The PJ Tatler

Walternate Realities, and Alan Grayson Under the Bus

Fox’s Fringe series lives in two universes: Ours, with icy blonde FBI agent Olivia Dunham and more than slightly mad scientist Walter Bishop, is at war with an alternate universe in which Dunham is a feisty redhead and the Walter-nate is the cunning, power mad Secretary of Defense. The other universe is very much like ours, only slightly different. Fringe was a favorite of mine until they spent a season having lead actress Anna Torv imitate Leonard Nimoy. They kind of lost me with that.

But suppose, in that alternate universe, President Barack Obama is a Republican, and former Rep. Alan Grayson is also a Republican. Gas prices are high in both. The mainstream media is the same in both. How would the media treat the story of a Republican former congressman running a red light on his way to a high dollar fundraiser, plowing into a bus and injuring some of its passengers? Probably something like this.

ORLANDO, Fla. — Former U.S. Rep. Alan Grayson, a Republican, crashed into a Lynx bus in downtown Orlando about noon Saturday.

Grayson was traveling to an upscale fundraising event for his Congressional campaign. Authorities with the Orlando Police Department said the crash happened at Orange Avenue and Livingston Street. Investigators said Grayson was driving a Mercedes, when he ran a red light and hit the bus.

Police and a campaign representative said the Republican Grayson and his Republican passenger were not hurt. Two people aboard the bus claimed they suffered minor injuries and were taken to a hospital. Authorities said the crash is under investigation, and it’s not known yet what type of citation or charges may be filed against the Republican.

One of the passengers noted that Grayson isn’t the only Republican responsible for his injuries. “I had to stop driving and take the bus because of President Obama,” said Stephanie of Orlando, who suffered bruises and a possible strained neck in the crash. “I can’t even afford gas for my car anymore. Now one of the president’s cronies runs a red light in his high dollar car and smashes into my bus. It’s like the whole Republican Party is out to get people like me.”

Stephanie added that thanks to the Republican president’s health care law, she lost her health insurance six months ago. She later lost her delivery job when gas prices forced her employer to cut her position.

A news release for Grayson’s Republican campaign event stated it was scheduled from noon until 1:30 p.m. at the penthouse of some local Republicans in The Vue, a high-rise condominium near Lake Eola.

The Orlando Police Department website stated the time of the call to the incident was 12:08 p.m. The Orlando Fire Department dispatched the call at 12:06 p.m.Featured guests included the Koch brothers. Both of them. And some other rich Republicans. The suggested contribution for those attending was $1,000.

A Grayson campaign representative said news coverage of the event was not permitted, and no photos, video or information on the event would be provided. Republican. Republican. And Republican.

In our universe, the word “Democrat” doesn’t even appear until the seventh paragraph. And our media didn’t dig up a witness to tie their injuries to the president’s policies.