The PJ Tatler

I'm Rich! Rich! Thanks, Mr. Secretary, my check is in the mail...

This almost-minor-masterpiece came floating in today, just in time to pay the mortgage:

U.S. Department of the Treasury
1500 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW
Washington, D.C.
Date: 9/11/2011

Dear Beneficiary,

I am Timothy F. Geithner. The Secretary of the Treasury under the U.S Department of the Treasury. The executive agency responsible for promoting economic prosperity and ensuring the financial security of the United States. However, by virtue of my position as the Secretary of the Treasury, I have irrevocably instructed the Federal Reserve Bank to approve your fund release via issuance of a CERTIFIED cheque drawn on Standard Chartered Bank california, USA, which is the authourized bank for your fund release.

However, as a former President and Chief Executive Officer of the Federal Reserve Bank of New York, and being a versatile banker of repute with about 25 years experience in the financial sector, I wish to state categorically that a CERTIFIED cheque of $6,500,000.00 USD drawn on Standard Chartered Bank will be issued and sent to you via the US Postal Service at no cost to you. Every and all cost associated with the delivery of the cheque has been pre-paid by the U.S Government. The only cost associated with your fund release is the cost of processing a “Fund Clearance Certificate”, which is estimated to the value of $150.00 USD. The “Fund Clearance Certificate” is required in accordance with the U.S Monetary Policy; and it is the ONLY expenses you will incurr before the cheque will be sent to your mailing address. Hence, you are advised to send the $150.00 USD via Western Union or MoneyGram ONLY to “Charles Green” who is the nominated receiver for the $150.00 USD. The wiring details is stated below:

Receiver: Charles Green
Receiver’s culver city, california, USA
Test Question: Fruit
Answer: Apple
Amount: $150.00 USD

You can get more facts about the U.S. Department of the Treasury on the link below:

Please get back to me with a quick confirmation of your mailing addresss and the payment details for the $150.00 USD.

Yours Sincerely,

Timothy F. Geithner
Secretary of the Treasury

ME:  Yeah, he did have one “s” too many at the very end, but it’s the thought, not the spelling, that matters, after all.

What a country!  What a guy!  And he doesn’t even look Nigerian…