The PJ Tatler

Zawahiri named to lead al Qaeda

After years of playing second fiddle to Osama bin Laden, Ayman finally got the promotion he always wanted. Corner office. Expense account. New beard comb. The works. And just in time for his birthday.

Analysts say Egyptian-born Zawahiri, 59, is intelligent but lacks the charisma of his predecessor.

He is claimed by some experts to have been the “operational brains” behind the 9/11 attacks on the US.

For years Bin Laden’s deputy, with a $25m (£15m) bounty on his head, he had been widely anticipated to replace Bin Laden at the helm.

Zawahiri, whose 60th birthday is believed to be this Sunday, warned just over a week ago that Bin Laden would continue to “terrify” the US from beyond the grave.

Here’s to hoping the new guy also gets a Hellfire telegram.