The PJ Tatler

Take Back Your Plan

—apologies to “Take Back Your Mink” by Frank Loesser

We fought for the land more than four decades ago
And gave back some in our long quest for peace
The Sinai, and Gaza, and the Temple Mount
To the Arabs foolishly released
But if you imagine that bought us goodwill
Then you just don’t know the Middle East
And we’re sick and tired of being fleeced

Take back your plan
Your “peace process”
It’s an also-ran
And we are not impressed
Take your “accords”
And your “right of return”
They’re empty words
All of which are rightly spurned

You know we’d like to just live here peacefully
Though our neighbors are Islamists
But the concessions proposed so fatuously
Just subject us to terrorists


So take back your plan
There’s no use being vexed
You know you can’t have a “peace partner”
Who only rejects

Take back your plan
Your “peace process”
It’s an also-ran
And we are not impressed
Take your “accords”
And your “right of return”
They’re empty words
All of which are rightly spurned

You know we’d like to just live here peacefully
Though our neighbors are Islamists
But the concessions proposed so fatuously
Just subject us to terrorists

So take back your plan
With all of its text
And don’t you raise an eyebrow
When the land we’ve annexed

Well, wouldn’t you?