The PJ Tatler

Was Osama's money handled according to sharia law?

That’s the question burning up my mind today. After he ate (hopefully halal!) lead, Osama’s body was searched (hopefully by Muslim men!) and about 500 euros was found sewn into his clothing. Even the holed up terrorist was evidently shocked at what Obama’s policies have done to the dollar.

Who did what with Osama’s money?  We have to be very very careful here. Sharia law is quite complex and the rules of Islamic banking are not for the amateur. So sorry Timmy G., you don’t get to handle Osama’s wad.

As an unwilling emigrant whose corporeal remains temporarily resided in Afghanistan (on more than one occasion), Osama would have been expected to transfer his cash via hawala to a point of his choice. Per Sen. Patty Murray, Osama presumably would have wanted his money to build a road or a school or a day care somewhere. Let’s hope the administration got this right. Wouldn’t want to inflame anyone by accidentally investing OBL’s stash in hog futures or anything like that, would we?