Walk Like an Egyptian -- updated version

This was originally written last week, but it’s still sufficiently au courant to merit a Tatler post:

Walk Like an Egyptian 2011
— lyrics by buzzsawmonkey; music by Liam Sternberg & The Bangles

(Here’s the original or a karaoke version if you want to sing along.)

All the young Muslims in the street
Are shouting Mubarak must go
El-Baradei (Oh-Way-Oh)
Wants the Brotherhood to run the show

Obama’s in his swivel chair
Trying to decide who he can dump
With seventy billion (Oh-Way-Oh)
Mubarak’s played us for a chump

Swiss banks are all giving thanks and sing:
Way-oh-way-oh-way-oooooooooooh…
Walk like an Egyptian.

The Copts are hiding where they can
While the Islamists burn their church
They’re Christians (Oh-Way-Oh)
So the West leaves them in the lurch

We worry more about mummies’ heads
Than heads attached to living folks
Lots of pretty words (Oh-Way-Oh)
Can hide a political hoax

The folks there in Tahrir Square say:
Way-oh-way-oh-way-oooooooooooh…
Walk like an Egyptian.

[Musical/whistle interlude]

The newsmen get pulled from their cars
Are roughed up by the angry mob
Hear taqiyya (Oh-Way-Oh)
Recognizing it is not their job

The pundits on the TV screen
Say they support the people’s choice
But here at home (Oh-Way-Oh)
They slough off the Tea Party voice

Islamic unrest blindsided
All the smart boys in the government
So they run around (Oh-Way-Oh)
As they walk along with the Egyptians

All the pundits on the screens say:
Way-oh-way-oh-way-oooooooooooh…
Walk like an Egyptian.
Walk like an Egyptian.