The PJ Tatler

A New Calendar Begins: S.P.F. 1

Our modern calendar was originally based on the approximate birthdate of Jesus Christ — Anno Domini, A.D. (although this counting system was not established until over five centuries after the fact).

Later, on September 22, 1792, French revolutionaries reset the calendar afresh to An I, re-starting time to signify what they believed was a new era in human history.

More recently, American leftists initiated the “B.B.” (“Blame Bush”) era on December 12, 2000, to mark the moment at which everything became Bush’s fault. Subsequent years were noted as B.B. 2, B.B. 3, and so on.

The B.B. system lasted until January 8, 2011, when those same leftists abruptly abandoned the B.B. calendar and loudly declared a new epoch, henceforth notated as S.P.F. (Sarah Palin’s Fault). (Any resemblance to sunscreen rankings is purely coincidental.) From this moment onward, all occurrences are Sarah Palin’s Fault, and we are no longer to Blame Bush for everything.

Due to its accidental proximity to January 1, the new era is now said to begin with this year, which from this moment onward is no longer 2011 A.D. but S.P.F. 1. The upcoming year that would have been 2012 will be S.P.F. 2, et cetera.

Let this announcement go forth across the land and be followed by the peasantry and nobility alike.

So mote it be.