The original intention for this column was that I would write at least a few of them a week, sharing some quick, stream-of-consciousness goofiness with our cherished VIP friends. I never got in the rhythm, but I feel that I'm getting there now. I hope I'm not shocking people with back-to-back installments.
There has been a lot going on with my family lately, which caused me to bookend the month of May with a couple of days off from the Morning Briefing. When I returned to work for Tuesday's MB, I assured everyone that, "I'm back now and have no plans for any more unplanned stuff." As I mentioned in Wednesday's Briefing, I knew I was tempting the Universe to throw more unplanned stuff at me.
LESSON LEARNED.
I was recently exploring my relationship with the Universe. As a man of faith, when things are going well I am very grateful to God. If I hit a rough patch, or something gets super weird, that's on the Universe. I should note that the rough patches are few and far between. There has always been an abundance of weirdness in my life, however, so the Universe and I go way back. That's why I knew I was poking the cosmic bear the other day.
It has been difficult getting my head back into work mode, but it was finally happening on Tuesday. Just as my day started to get really busy, I heard what I thought was either a small explosion or a gunshot. Then I heard water gushing inside my wall.
The Universe obviously reads the Morning Briefing and was not amused by my brashness.
When the plumber finally got inside of the wall today to take a look, he said, "Holy, s**t, the pipe actually exploded!"
BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT PIPES DO WHEN THE UNIVERSE WANTS TO MAKE A POINT.
As this is a very small house (not officially "tiny," but close), I don't have prepper amounts of bottled water here. I did have enough to get through the night, though. There's water elsewhere on the property, so I was able to fill a bucket to assist with the functioning of the toilet. I was basically a pioneer American for 20 hours, people.
Now the water is on again but the newfangled tankless water heater isn't working.
I think the Universe knows that I'm writing about it.
It's the Sonoran Desert in June, so the shower won't be that cold if it can't be fixed today. I would taunt the Universe with that, but I fear that my hair will spontaneously combust or I'll grow a nipple on my face or something.
Uh-oh, I shouldn't have put that out in the universe for the Universe to read.
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