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Kruiser's (Almost) Daily Distraction: I'm Totally Here for the Apocalyptic Bug Buffet

I don't always go looking for reasons to be a contrarian when it comes to the popular opinions of my conservative media friends and colleagues — sometimes they just find me. 

Take, for example, the disdain shown every time some enviro whacko suggests that one of the best ways to "save the planet" is to learn to love eating insects and bugs. 

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My first thought when this became a topic of discussion was about my younger years. I was a red-blooded American boy, which means that my entire raison d'être was to do really stupid things for fun. I figure I had to have ingested a bug or two hundred before I hit the third grade. 

Then I remembered something we used to do when I was around six or seven and living in San Diego. We had these tiny gold moths everywhere and we used to catch them, put them in our mouths for a few seconds, open up, and then see if they flew away. 

A few of those had to have gone down the hatch. 

Also, I do so wish I was making that up. 

Look, I have no skin in the "saving Earth" game; this planet has disappointed me in so many ways. Even if I believed we could save it, I would respond with new levels of not caring. Obviously, I'm not a fan of mandated food choices, either. 

However, if someone in the future (like next Tuesday) hands me a bowl of spicy cicada fricassée, I'm not going to turn it down. I spent far too many years as a divorced dad in Los Angeles, always scrimping to make ends meet. Just because things are better now doesn't mean I'm turning down free meals. 

I read a lot of science fiction and modern sci-fi novels that reference "lab-grown meat," which sounds disgusting to me. I would much prefer my hamburgers to come from a live animal that spent its life expelling methane willy-nilly about the planet, thank you very much. If I am ever faced with a choice between lab-grown filet mignon or fried grubworm tacos (made from real, live Vermont grubworms, natch), every day will be Taco Tuesday. 

Of course, my futuristic bug diet will depend on how good I get at making my own Tabasco.

Because almost anything is edible with enough Tabasco on it. 

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