We are now less than a year away from what many people would agree will be one of the most important presidential elections in United States history. It's certainly the most important of my lifetime, and I have a year or two on the books.
While I am not given to heading straight into "existential crisis" mode when it comes to politics, I don't think it's a stretch to say that we are, at the very least, crisis-adjacent as we head into next year. Whenever I read or hear about conservatives pondering anything beyond next year, I can't help but think, "Hey, maybe take that optimism down a notch or two."
It's really mystifying to see people who should know better treating this next election as if all of the old rules apply. The rules for presidential elections in this country were tossed out the window of a speeding car on a remote highway in 2016 and have never been retrieved. The 2016 election was a pleasant shock, 2020 was a nightmare, and 2024 will probably be some combination of acid trip, stomach flu, and the last scene of "Paranormal Activity."
The Republicans are tough to bet on in crucial elections. They still haven't grasped that the Democrats always play dirty. As my friend Stephen Green wrote last week, they're probably cooking up something more diabolical than ever for next year, especially if Trump is the nominee.
This brings me to the current state of the Republican primary field. I've written on several occasions that this isn't the time for vanity campaigns, yet the GOP still has plenty of them. Nikki Haley, Vivek Ramaswamy, and Chris Christie are hanging around like bad relatives, doing nothing to help Republicans at all.
There are only two candidates in the field who can be trusted to manhandle the Democrats in a street fight: Donald Trump and Ron DeSantis. The supporters of each will tell me that I'm full of crap about the other one, but I have an extraordinary gift for not internalizing the opinions of others.
Even with his monstrous lead in the polls, Trump is a veritable trainload of issues and problematic for the general election. Then there's the fact that DeSantis hasn't been able to pick up any traction. Still, they're the horses who have to be backed if we're ever going to have a shot at getting the Oval Office sprayed for commie.
Chris Christie is in the race simply because he wants to whine about Trump. He's a Northeastern Republican, so he's basically a moderate Democrat. I give Trump a break on the Northeastern thing because he didn't rise through the ranks as a politician there.
Vivek Ramaswamy is running because he likes sitting at home in his boxer briefs, eating kettle corn, and watching videos of Vivek Ramaswamy. He's also putting together a demo reel to bring to CNN next year at this time.
Nikki Haley is the entrenched establishment Republican who will help usher in a permanent Democratic majority. The Old Guard is determined to make her a thing, which is why Charles Koch's Americans for Prosperity Action Super PAC endorsed her.
The GOP Establishment types still hate Trump because he made them look bad in 2016. They also hate DeSantis because his boldness during the pandemic made the "trust the government" Republicans — including Trump — look even worse. Again, however, these are the only two Republicans in the field who have a track record of thumping Democrats when you need them to.
It's important to remember that the "Yay Nikki Haley!" crowd isn't really invested in her getting the nomination. Like all anti-Trump Republicans, they just want him to lose. They don't care if it's to another Republican or a Democrat.
I've said for years that I can't keep wanting the Republican party to win more than the Republican party itself wants to win. It's time to stop the "Nikkiramachristie" folly and begin taking the task ahead more seriously.
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