Bear With Me Here…
Perhaps this idea has been floated out there by someone else already, but I haven’t seen it. This will come as no surprise to most of you, but I don’t read a lot of other writers’ stuff. Yes, I’m arrogant. I’m also fun, which is why we are all here every weekday morning. So this theory is new to me.
As I said in yesterday’s Briefing, I — and many others — believe that the mainstream media is whipping up the coronavirus hysteria for the sole purpose of damaging President Trump and throwing the election to the paste-eating slow boy Joe Biden.
I also truly believe that whipping up an unnecessary panic over the Wuhan flu is the only chance der Bidengaffer has of winning the election.
In the hours after I wrote that, the media seemed to turn up the hysterical volume on the coverage to eleven, and my mind began to wander about how all of this is going to play out.
With all the stars aligning behind Crazy Joe the Wonder Veep despite his inability to string together any number of words that form a sentence, I began to wonder how a Biden presidency played out in the heads of Democrats.
My new theory: it doesn’t.
They don’t really want this declining, drooling idiot to be president for four years. Four months, maybe.
The reason that the Democrats are actively cheering for their fellow citizens to become ill and have that illness tank the economy so even more of their fellow citizens become broke is that they are desperate to just grab the Oval Office first.
Because they’re awful, Biden is the least worst of the vehicles to get them there.
Here is where my conspiracy freak thing comes in.
I think they’d prefer to get the elderly white man into the White House with one of their preferred diversity candidates as his vice president. Once in, they can suddenly become aware of his cognitive decline and begin publicly expressing concerns about his health, all dutifully abetted by their flying monkeys in the media.
We’ve just been through over three years of the Democrats constantly questioning the mental competence of a Republican president and not being able to make it stick enough to get him out of office. Their chances of making it stick if they are doing the same with one of their own would most certainly be greater.
So…they get the village idiot elected and they balance out the White Patriarchy aspect by having Elizabeth Warren or Kamala Harris on the ticket with him. Then they manage to depose said idiot with a real version of the internal coup that they have longed for in the Trump administration and — YAHTZEE! — one of their unelectable shrews ascends to the throne.
Change my mind.
RIP Late Night Television
Yeah, yeah, I know it’s been dead for years, but I keep hoping that someone on late night television will stop the unsettling fanboi nonsense with Democratic politicians. All of the late night shows are cesspools of leftist clichés. They spent eight years doing the same Sarah Palin joke while the Lightbringer was in office. Now they have a nightly diaper-filling over ORANGE MAN BAD.
The latest late night folly has Mayor Pete doing a guest-host turn on Jimmy Kimmel Live. Yes, the same, personality-free Pete Buttigieg who just spent months boring Democratic voters to tears.
In the leftist fever-dream, this wet sock has some sort of entertainment value.
This is why I post so many old Carson clips here, to remember how truly great late night television once was.
Grandpa Stalin Endorsed by Actual Communists
Sanders is “best suited to deliver on the change that many people in the Warren campaign were committed to,” @WorkingFamilies National Director Maurice Mitchell said. https://t.co/DPJTY3mHft
— The Intercept (@theintercept) March 10, 2020
PJM Linktank
Say Hello to Your 1.23-Ounce Big Brother: Fitbits Could Be Used to Track Viruses Like Covid-19
Wuhan Forever: BREAKING: It’s Suddenly Racist to Say ‘Wuhan Virus’
What We Lose by the Closing of Community Department Stores
Does the Second Amendment Mean You Have a Right to a Gun Shop Near You?
A Roadmap for Trump to Win More Blue States in 2020
Move Over Putin: Canadian Bernie Bros Are Interfering in Our Election
Purim: A Biblical Response to Coronavirus
Sex Slavery: An Islamic State—or Just an Islamic—Institution?
Portland Has Come Up With Brilliant Idea to Stop Spread of Coronavirus in the ‘Houseless’ Community
VIP
VodkaPundit, Part Deux: MSNBC Scaremonger: 20 Percent of Americans Could Die of COVID-19
VIP Gold
The One Policy That Scalped Liz Warren’s Campaign When It Came to Honesty
Lawrence Jones on Why Bernie Is Doomed in Michigan
Life In Stalin’s Prison Camps As Told By People Who Were There
Last Gasp: Sanders Begins Attack On Biden Over LGBT, Abortion
From the Mothership and Beyond
#WINNING: New York Town Vows To Defy Any New State Gun Laws
As MN Considers New Gun Laws, More People Than Ever Have Carry Permits
Max Von Sydow Dies: Revered Star Of ‘The Exorcist’ & ‘The Seventh Seal’ Was 90
Dana Perino Chokes Up Talking to Stranded Cruise Ship Passenger with Stage 4 Cancer
Nancy Pelosi Fear-Mongers How ‘Civilization as We Know It Is at Stake’ in the 2020 Election
Trump Campaign Sends Scathing Letter to Twitter Over a Biden Campaign Video
New York Leaders Introduce Strange Plans to Fight Coronavirus
ISWYDT: Hillary Clinton Accidentally Predicts Joe Biden Will Lose to Trump
Cuomo: Who’s Up For Some Official New York State Hand Sanitizer?
New National And Michigan Polling: Looks Like Bernie Has A Ceiling Of About 40% Now
NY Times: Medicare For All Won’t Happen Even If Sanders Wins And Democrats Take The Senate
CDC Changing Guidelines For Cruises, Air Travel Over Virus Concerns
‘Jeopardy’ & ‘Wheel Of Fortune’ To Film Without Audience Over Coronavirus Concerns
YUUUGE: Russia Parts Ways With OPEC+ on Oil Production
Kira: AB5 Video Puts California Contractor Law and Its Consequences into Tragic Focus
Democrats Are Big Mad At Bernie Sanders Over Establishment Conspiracy Theory
Fake news: Daily Mail reports that President Trump stormed out of coronavirus briefing (very slowly)
Alabama Senate votes to prohibit surgeries, puberty blockers for ‘gender-confused’ youth under 19
Self-quarantined Sen. Ted Cruz doesn’t dispute this Zodiac Killer fact
Pro-abortion feminists in Mexico light themselves up with their own Molotov cocktail (video)
Australia sues Facebook for $529 billion. That’s more than the government makes in a year.
A Simple Breathing Practice to Keep Panic at Bay
Protests erupt at Biden’s raucous Detroit rally
Bee Me
Elizabeth Warren Leaves Brutal 1-Star Review For https://t.co/l81aQR5IIahttps://t.co/3dz3D8dvFy
— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) March 9, 2020
The Kruiser Kabana
Dude.
Father and son nail it 😎 https://t.co/EaUhI67HaW
— CCTV IDIOTS (@cctvidiots) March 9, 2020
Far and away the greatest sitcom finale ever. Sure, he had to have two successful shows to pull it off, but that couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy.
Still waiting to hear back from Club Med Wuhan to see if they’re ever going to rebook my trip.
___
Kruiser Twitter
Kruiser Facebook
PJ Media Associate Editor Stephen Kruiser is the author of “Don’t Let the Hippies Shower” and “Straight Outta Feelings: Political Zen in the Age of Outrage,” both of which address serious subjects in a humorous way. Monday through Friday he edits PJ Media’s “Morning Briefing.”
Join the conversation as a VIP Member