(New York Observer columnist Lisa Schiffren is one of the smartest journalists I know. A one-time Republican speechwriter, Lisa has written widely for conservative publications. I’m honored to offer this gem as a guest essay — DG).
Scene: A wood-paneled room, no windows, the late hour at which posh N.Y. fundraising dinners end. Hillary Clinton enters to find three middle-aged, intelligent-looking women seated at a long table. Tea and cookies are proffered.
Good evening, Secretary Clinton. May we call you Hillary? Thank you for coming to see us. You are wondering why we have summoned you. We dislike intervening in domestic politics. But … things are a bit dire at the moment. We believe that we can help you, and you can help us.
We see that your support is down. Voters don’t trust you. They don’t think you understand their problems. That nasty piece of work, the Grand Vizier Valerie Jarrett, has leaked information about forthcoming indictments for your transgressions at the State Department. She has boxes of evidence. The accusations of financial corruption are piling high.
We know this is upsetting. But you must be coming to understand that you are not going to be president of the United States. It is possible that you will not even win your primary.
For the record, it was always going to be an uphill struggle. Your presidency seems to cycle between your two parties every eight years. We wanted you to have it in ‘08. We expected you to win your primary and the general. We were shocked to see a great party nominate someone whose disdain for America was on full display.
We wished, of course, that you had had the fortitude to release the damning information you had gathered. We knew, as you did not, that Obama was a man bent on destroying all that we love and hold dear. Yes, the Holy Land. But also, America. America first, actually. Like most students of human governance, we admire America’s Constitution above all others. We have always respected the virtue and restraint of the American people. The world’s security has rested on your nation’s righteous efforts. These years have taken a heavy toll.
But we understand that you decided to play for Obama’s team out of ambition. We respect that. Without it, you wouldn’t be able to help us now.
It is our task to inform you that the position you have lusted after for thirty years will not be yours. But we are here to offer you a different deal.
Your people are unhappy with the results of Obama’s policies. And, of course, it’s a flaw in a democracy that voters prefer candidates who are likeable. Relatable. Moses himself had a stutter. His brother Aaron did the talking. It is frightening to consider what might have occurred had he faced popular election.
It’s best if we are frank. Hillary Rodham Clinton, as things stand you will be remembered, if at all, as the unpopular, power hungry, corrupt wife of a popular president, who twice sought her own power and lost.
But we can ensure that you are not a footnote, if that, in the history books. We can guarantee you a place greater than being the first female nominee — or even the first woman president.
Hillary … we know that you are not a friend of the Jews. No, don’t bother … we’ve always known. It’s okay. You will be more effective because you are not our friend.
We are deeply concerned — worried sick is more like it — about your president’s deal with the leaders of Iran.
Governor Huckabee is close in his evaluation. He is a minister, given to dramatic pronouncements. No one likes hearing that an American president and secretary of State are all but sending Jews to the ovens. Of course, a nuclear fireball will annihilate Israel faster than any gas or oven.
Jordan, Syria, the Saudi Kingdom — they are vulnerable, too. The remaining Christians of the Levant, the small tribes, the Kurds, Turks, and anyone else with whom the ayatollahs take issue will all be vulnerable once they have these weapons. The nuclear-arms race of our nightmares has already begun.
Chief of Staff Jarrett, she, like Haman before her, is a jealous and clever Persian. The deal is vague in places, but it has carefully precluded Israel’s options for defending herself from a nuclear Iran. They have made it difficult for your Congress to stop matters. And the language that Obama and Secretary Kerry now use toward American Jews who wish to defeat this deal is ugly by any historic standard.
We need to halt this tragedy. We need someone with enough clout to shut this deal down by force of reason and her own power. She must be a liberal Democrat. She must be credible enough so that Democratic senators and congressmen have cover when they vote against the president. It’s possible that Senator Charles Schumer could do it. But Chuck cannot grasp anything bigger than his own status. He is not capable of sacrifice, or greatness, even now, when the possibility reaches out to him. He will vote with us, and do nothing to win.
If you do this, Hillary, you win the world’s eternal respect and gratitude. If you reveal the treachery against American power, constitutional processes, and the hidden anti-Israel mechanisms of the deal; if you take a firm stand, the truth will become clear. This deal is a time bomb. It is a blank check to crazy ayatollahs, who have guaranteed noting in return except terror and destruction. When you expose it, Obama and Jarrett will attack you. They will unleash everything they have. Your corruption will come out anyway, but if you are no longer running, it doesn’t matter.
We can promise that you won’t have to watch Joe Biden, a family man but a dummy, or John Kerry, a pompous fool and a lifelong traitor, step in and become president. Bernie Sanders wins bupkis. Your testimony reveals anyone who supports the deal for the traitor he is.
The American people know that the deal is wrong. They are not stupid. They know better than to arm a tyrannical Muslim regime, hated by its own people, with weapons that can destroy the world.
And you, Hillary, you will have risen above politics and ambition to display conscience and deep loyalty to constitutional government, and the future of the American people. You will free your country from tyranny that will arise when the Constitution is in ashes. Your countrymen will regret that you won’t be there to lead them. Your stature will rise by the year. Your deeds will outshine anything your husband accomplished.
In Israel you will be hailed as a great heroine. You will go down in the ages as a woman who sacrificed her great personal ambitions to save our homeland. You will be first among righteous Christian heroines of the age. We have spoken with your people, and I can assure you that your Church will forgive you for leaving its teachings behind. They will hail a returning prodigal daughter.
Think about it. Take your time.
Of course. Any question you want.
No. Really. We don’t. If we ran the world, things would not be in the shape they are. This enemy of the Jews would not be in charge of the greatest nation on Earth. We would not have to offer you the greatest honor our God can bestow, to thwart yet another existential threat to the existence of the Jewish people. ISIS wouldn’t be raping and murdering Christians. Sorry, I get a little upset at this stage in a crisis.
It’s a mess because God has always left humans in control on Earth. God has foreknowledge. We see where decision trees lead, as they say. But you have pure free will, to believe and to act. It’s messy, but necessary.
Our actual job is … to make occasional adjustments when things get out of hand. After the Holocaust we were instructed to intervene at earlier stages in human politics.
You didn’t expect the Elders of Zion to be women? No one does. It’s a 21st century innovation. The 20th century didn’t go so well for us. There were some victories — Israel. But so much death. Time to try something new.
Mostly it helps that fools think we control the world. But it’s a joke. We don’t even control our own people. Look at how American Jews vote. They’re so smart, those high IQ Ashkenazim, yet they fail to see what is in front of them. Obama. You! – if you’ll forgive me for saying so. They hand over money and power to obvious enemies.
So, it’s good that we all enjoy irony so much, Hillary, nu? You — Queen Esther.
We all do what we have to. Even Bibi Netanyahu. He has been magnificent, yes? But he will hand over the glory — the credit — to you. He has an ego. It hurts him to take a back seat in saving his people, and half the world. But he will lead the canonization if you vanquish this deal.
So Hillary, nu? You can stop it before the bodies pile up. My grand-children. Your grand-children. The Christians and the Muslims in the Middle East. They will all owe their future to your valor.
Let me know how we can help you make that speech — more than one, I think, laying out the case against the deal, step by step, like the smart Yale lawyer you were. Put all that intelligence to work for something bigger than yourself. Then step down and don’t look back.