Sometimes, antisemitism is hilarious. Don’t believe me?
Here’s a historic example:
The Protocols of the Elders of Zion was a 1902 Russian hoax that claimed to document a late-19th century meeting of Jewish leaders, where those evil, untrustworthy Jews discussed their secret plans for world domination. Some consider it “the most influential work of antisemitism ever written.”
Throughout vast swathes of Nazi Germany, it was mandatory reading for schoolchildren. In Russia and Western Europe, it was a runaway best-seller. It even gained a following in the United States, where it was republished and serialized 91 times in Henry Ford’s newspaper, The Dearborn Independent. (Ford later published the series in book form as The International Jew: The World’s Foremost Problem.)
Sadly, in countries shaped by Judeo-Christian traditions, this hoax greatly inflamed tensions between Jews and Christians. Hitler cited it to justify the Nazi’s institutional antisemitism — which, of course, led directly to the Holocaust.
From the United States Holocaust Museum:
Hitler referred to the Protocols in some of his earliest political speeches in the 1920s. He also wrote about the book in his autobiography Mein Kampf (1925). Hitler claimed that the Protocols “reveal the nature and activity of Jewish people and expose…their ultimate final aims.” He also predicted that what he called the “Jewish menace” would be “broken” after the Protocols became more widely known.
Sounds pretty bleak for the Jews. You could draw a straight line between its publishing, the rise of antisemitism, and the genocidal horror of the Holocaust.
Yet there was one country that got its hands on The Protocols of the Elders of Zion and reached the exact opposite conclusion: “Whoa! You mean there’s a secret group of Jews who control the entire world? And they magically make money wherever they go? HOW AWESOME! Let’s party with those guys!”
And that country was… Japan.
Because, after all, Judeo-Christian traditions didn't shape Japan’s history, culture, and values. So instead of interpreting The Protocols through the lens of European history, the Jewish diaspora, and its (many) antisemitic dog whistles, Japanese readers accepted everything at face value: Somehow, these magical, mysterious Jews figured out how to become global puppet-masters. They controlled the media, the banks, foreign governments, international trade — and more! Apparently, nobody can stop them. Not even the mighty governments of Europe!
So imagine what a wonderful ally they’d be to imperial Japan!
It led to a Japanese program called the Fugu Plan to import up to 600,000 Jews. Japan even planned a PR mission to the United States, where Japanese officials would show American rabbis the similarities (?) between Judaism and Shintoism and then invite them to visit Japan.
From the moment it was conceived, The Protocols of the Elders of Zion was viciously anti-Semitic, packed with false charges of a Jewish conspiracy to conquer the world. But for a time, a powerful faction in Japanese military and political circles came to believe that this infamous piece of hateful propaganda was completely accurate.
To them, the book — purportedly notes from a meeting of a Jewish shadow government — was not only true, but it was an indication that, rather than attack the Jews, they should befriend them and use them to their own advantage.
The result was later called the Fugu Plan, an effort to encourage Jewish immigration to Japanese territory before and during World War II in order to bolster the country’s economic prosperity.
Because of imperial Japan’s wartime partnership with Nazi Germany, it eventually abandoned the Fugu Plan. (As you could imagine, Der Führer wasn’t such a big fan.) But it deserves to be remembered, for it illustrates an undeniable truth: People stupid enough to buy into antisemitic conspiracy theories aren’t smart enough to differentiate between facts and fiction.
This brings us to President Donald Trump, Iran, and the never-ending negotiations to bring peace to the Middle East. Spoiler alert: It ain’t been going so swimmingly.
And the American people are quickly losing confidence that a peace deal is even reachable. That’s because President Trump has been hinting since March 30 that a great deal was “probably” right around the corner. On May 23, a deal was “largely negotiated.” Then, as recently as May 29, he told us he was making the “final determination” on signing an agreement.
Yet it’s now June 8, and not only is there no peace deal, but over the weekend, Iran launched a barrage of missiles at Israeli civilian targets.
Politicians pay a political price when they overpromise and underdeliver. President Trump is no exception: The hawks are mad because Iran is still standing (and giving America the finger); the doves are mad because we went to war; Joe Six-Pack is mad because gas prices are too damn high.
Everyone is unhappy!
We’ve gone from demanding Iran’s “unconditional surrender” to endless negotiations that aren’t going anywhere. The whole thing is a mess.
As we discussed last week, it certainly seems that stringing U.S. diplomats along — promising great things behind closed doors, agreeing to 99% of demands, but perpetually keeping the final 1% from ever reaching a conclusion — is now Iran’s strategy. From the mullah’s point of view, it’s their best available option because:
- With a ceasefire already in place (at least in name), the U.S.-Israeli bombing campaign has stopped. No more mullahs have been killed. As long as the ceasefire continues, Iran has a free hand to rebuild its military — which it seems to be doing.
- By linking a peace deal to Hezbollah’s survival, Iran has gotten President Trump to order Israeli Prime Minister Bibi Netanyahu to stop attacking its terrorist proxies in Lebanon. But once a peace deal is signed, Iran would lose that leverage.
- The economic turmoil and higher oil prices will likely injure Republicans in the 2026 midterms, which would weaken Trump’s hand and empower the Democrats, Iran’s most dependable U.S. allies.
- Refusing to cede an inch to the Americans shows the Iranian citizens how strong, tough, and powerful the mullahs are. (Plus, it demoralizes dissent and dissuades rebellion.) The longer they drag negotiations out, the stronger they look — and by comparison, the weaker America looks.
- Eventually, the Americans will have to leave. (All the mullahs must do is survive.) Exhausting American patience — without any bombs dropping on their head — is the best of both worlds.
To salvage his oft-elusive “peace deal,” President Trump told Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu not to respond to Iran’s missile attack: “I am going to call Bibi right now and tell him not to retaliate. Each of them had their fun. Israel had its strike, and Iran had its strike. We don't need another one.”
It didn’t work. Israel responded anyway:
⭕️🛩️ STRUCK: The IDF completed a large-scale strike on strategic defense systems belonging to the Iranian terror regime.
— Israel Defense Forces (@IDF) June 8, 2026
Recently, defense systems were deployed across Iran to restore the regime’s capabilities degraded during Operation Roaring Lion. The strike led to the… pic.twitter.com/eEqV2QnXK3
But what if Donald Trump did the opposite — and instead of urging Israel to stand down, he threatened to unleash the full power and fury of the Israeli military?
It’s the ol’ carrot-and-stick approach: If Iran won’t accept a carrot, beat ‘em over the head with a stick. At this point, it’s the only option that makes sense.
The status quo simply isn’t working. Despite rewarding the mullahs by calling off the dogs of war, protecting their power plants and desalination plants, and limiting Israel’s capacity to respond, Iran STILL hasn’t opened the Strait of Hormuz. Iran STILL hasn’t signed a peace deal. Iran STILL hasn’t stopped firing missiles at its regional neighbors. Carrots, it seems, only embolden the mullahs.
Maybe it’s time to hit ‘em where they hurt — and use Iran’s antisemitism against it.
Conspiracy theories are a prevalent feature of the Arab/Muslim world, and Iran is no exception. Many of these conspiracy theories are highly antisemitic and still involve The Protocols of the Elders of Zion, which was republished in English by the Islamic Propagation Organization of the Islamic Republic of Iran.
If the Iranians are stupid enough to believe it, then let’s use it!
Trump should threaten to let the Jews use their “space lasers” that Marjorie Taylor Greene so bravely warned the world about. Or send its New York Times-reported “rape dogs” across the Iranian border. (I’m guessing those dogs share the same bloodline as that awful mutt who sexually assaulted the little girl in the Coppertone ad.)
Or better yet, Trump could weaponize today’s greatest blood libel: the lie that Israel committed “genocide” in Gaza.
Factually, there was no genocide. It’s a complete and total myth. Turns out that 80% of Gaza’s war casualties were Hamas fighters:
Well that ends the debate on deaths in Gaza.
— Eyal Yakoby (@EYakoby) April 22, 2026
Hamas itself is admitting that 80% of casualties were combatants.
There was never a genocide.
You have been lied to and manipulated. pic.twitter.com/yOaUC2MqkJ
But the lie has gone around the world and back again. Billions of people now treat it as gospel — including 77% of Democrats. It’s led to some remarkably idiotic conclusions, including at least one Maine Democrat who’s totally cool with Graham Platner’s Nazi tattoo, but if his tattoo was of an Israeli flag, why, that would be a bridge too far:
At a Graham Platner rally in Portland.
— Caroline McCaughey (@TheCarolineMc) June 8, 2026
“Would an Israeli flag tattoo be a deal breaker?”
“Honestly yeah, because I don’t support genocide.” https://t.co/93SQVwHOXH pic.twitter.com/CKrpQwkmxO
If the Iranians actually believe this garbage, then Trump should lean into it:
“Those Jews are crazy, with their space lasers, rape dogs, and world domination! I don’t think I can stop ‘em from committing genocide again! Iran better sign a deal — and fast — before it’s too late! Trust me, those space lasers are nothing but trouble!”
And if the Iranians still refuse to play ball, then remove all restraints on the IDF and give ‘em carte blanche to blast the mullahs to smithereens.
It’s worth a shot. At a minimum, it’s a helluva lot better than this interminable, never-ending status quo.
(See? Like I told you, sometimes antisemitism is hilarious.)
One Last Thing: 2026 is a critical year for America First. It began with Mayor Mamdani declaring war on “rugged individualism” and will reach a crescendo with the midterm elections. Nothing less than the fate of the America First movement teeters in the balance.
Never before have the political battle lines been so clearly defined. Win or lose, 2026 will transform our country.
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