When millions of Americans woke up this morning, sat on their toilets, and scrolled through their phones (don’t deny it, we all do it), they likely had a similar thought: “Is this real? Or is it The Babylon Bee?”
I present to you the headline: “Biden to present Hillary Clinton, George Soros and 17 others the Presidential Medal of Freedom.”
Among the other lucky recipients:
- Bono (frontman of U2)
- Michael J. Fox
- Magic Johnson
- Lionel Messi
- Denzel Washington
- Bill Nye the Science Guy
- Jane Goodall
- Ralph Lauren
- Anna Wintour
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you our nation’s best and brightest!
By any objective standard, it’s an eclectic list of left-leaning celebrities. It’s like a who’s-who of has-beens. Some of them make a modicum of sense: for example, two of Bono’s best-known songs are “Where the Streets Have No Name” and “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For.”
Well, Biden gets lost a lot and can’t find things, too.
Bill Nye and Jane Goodall were interesting additions. I guess they were included to demonstrate the Biden-Harris administration’s firm, unyielding commitment to science. Nye did a TV show for children, and Goodall studied monkeys, so they should be right at home on Capitol Hill.
Denzel Washington was another weird selection, because he was tapped for the exact same honor in 2022. Now, I have nothing against Denzel. Those “Equalizer” movies were fine. But two Presidential Medal of Freedom awards in 30 months?! Isn’t that overkill?
I suspect “Doctor” Jill Biden has a crush on Denzel.
Quite a few of the honorees aren’t even American. Like Argentinian footballer soccer player Lionel Messi, who played just 25 games for a U.S. team in Miami, but over 600 games for various teams in Europe and South America: why does he deserve the Presidential Medal of Freedom? This is an AMERICAN award — give it to Tom Brady! Honestly, even Eli Manning is more deserving than Messi. (Hell, give it to Tony Romo!)
But I suppose the White House needed a Spanish-speaking addition. (DEI purposes, you know.)
Some of the names never would’ve escaped the nominating committee if Biden still gave a damn about his political future. You don’t add controversial names such as Hillary Clinton and George Soros when you’re still trying to capture the middle. But Soros has lots of money, and the Clintons certainly know how to fundraise; the upcoming Biden Presidential Library ain’t gonna be cheap.
This isn’t about winning elections anymore. The horse left the barn when Harris lost in November. Instead, it’s about allocating as much government resources, awards, and prestige to impress liberal donors before Biden leaves the White House.
Mark my words: When Joe Biden leaves Washington and raises money for his presidential library, the exact same names you see at these awards ceremonies will be on his donors’ lists. It’s incestuous, corrupt, self-serving, and gross — but this is how the game in played.
As my esteemed colleague Matt Margolis noted yesterday evening, by handing out presidential medals NOT on the basis of merit, but via opportunism, personal enrichment, and the desire to punish your political opponents, one of President Biden’s lasting legacies will be the dilution of these honors. They’ve lost their prestige. They no longer recognize someone’s greatness, but their utility to the Democrats in the White House.
So if we’re going to dilute the awards and hand ‘em out to people such as Messi, Soros, Bono, and Nye, why not give one to Hunter Biden, too?
After all, Joe Biden has declared his son “the smartest guy I know.” Clearly, it’s in our national interest to celebrate such a rare genius. And he’s a super-talented artist! Have you seen his paintings? He’s one of the greats.
Plus, Hunter Biden has proven himself an exemplary businessman. Has anyone else gone farther in life — or raised more money — without an education, ethics, or training? (Or sobriety?) Hunter has a near-magical ability to rub shoulders with foreign investors, and then, PRESTO: money appears!
Sure, it’s easy for a guy such as Elon Musk to make money, because his products actually work. But for someone such as Hunter Biden with no discernible talents?
Give that man an award!
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