Roger L. Simon

Is There a Cure for Trumpophrenia?

One of the more ironic aspects of campaign 2016 is that Donald Trump, for all his constant talk of winning, often doesn’t know the simplest things about how to win.

Not more than a couple of days after taking the presidential high road, complimenting his opponents and calling himself a unifier at his post-Super Tuesday press conference, at a point when it looked as if a sizable number, if not a stampede, of conservatives and Republicans were poised to join his “movement,” all he had to do at the next debate was be reasonably pleasant and offer halfway decent answers on substantive questions. Instead he stood on that stage  and — not even five minutes in, with all the impulse control of a three-year-old denied a bag of M & M’s — proceeded to reassure an audience of millions about the size of his penis.

It went downhill from there.

Not that he didn’t get considerable help from Megyn Kelly, who has become Trump’s self-appointed executioner. Her ego expanding like a weather balloon, she did everything she could to nail him for his seemingly-misbegotten Trump University, currently being sued by disgruntled students. She went so far as to attack Trump for lying when he apparently was telling the truth that his school had received an “A” from the Better Business Bureau — Kelly making her accusation although NBC had already corrected the record two days before:

But when it was assessed by BBB Serving Metro New York, the Trump Entrepreneur Initiative — the name under which Trump University has most recently operated — had, indeed, gotten the BBB’s top rating in the past, it said.

In fact, according to the rating agency, Trump appears to have undersold things — at times in the past, his “university” had an A-plus rating.

Okay, the school also go a D- at one point, the grades are “dynamic,” but it’s clear Megyn was engaged in a smear.  Shame on her.

Nevertheless, the truth about Trump U. is hard to ascertain. The most extensive write-ups are in the Observer, which avers much of the fault lies with an overzealous prosecutor, New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman. But the Observer is owned by Donald’s son-in-law Jared Kushner, husband of Ivanka, not that the newspaper makes any attempt to hide that in its coverage.

My sense of the brouhaha is that Trump’s school was similar to others that have appeared across the country, teaching people how to capitalize on the real estate market, particularly in the area of foreclosures. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn’t. Trump U. was clearly no Harvard, but a lot of people are beginning to question whether Harvard is worth 65K a year these days. So it’s all up for grabs.

Trump exploited his name here as he did with steaks and vodka and other enterprises that misfired while he concentrated on his core business of real estate, where the results have been considerably better.  He probably spread himself too thin, although, in his favor and speaking personally, I have a Trump blazer I bought at Macy’s a few years ago for a bargain price that often gets compliments.

What worries me about Donald is not his business failures. That comes with the territory. I’m concerned with the erratic comments, the loose-lips-sink-ships-impulse-control-infantile-insult problem that pops up every other day, if not more often. Today he walked back his assertion at the debate that he would make the military do exactly what he wanted, even if it wasn’t constitutional. And then there are the, let’s be kind and call them inappropriate, racial remarks — the Hispanic judge, the failure to condemn David Duke when it’s the easiest thing in the world. I don’t think for a moment Trump’s a racist. But sometimes I think he assumes his followers are. They’re not. Wake up. (I could go on, but you get the point.)

Which leads me to the real topic: Trumpophrenia. I suffer from it and it’s only getting worse. I change my opinion about Donald almost every five minutes — and I can’t be the only one. There may be millions of us. For some it’s even more problematic. These people are not Trumpophrenic. They are Trumpophobic. And, if this Drudge link has any veracity, they have taken their problem to their shrinks.

I haven’t gone that far — yet. But I am searching for a cure for Trumpophrenia before I have to reach for the Haldol. If he becomes president, I don’t want any of us to become real life schizophrenics ourselves, unable to predict what our leader will say or do next.

But basically I think he’s a good guy and his heart is in the right place. His instincts for making America great again are also basically good. So I will make my plea. Donald, you and only you are the cure for Trumpophrenia. Do it. Take us out of our misery. If you want to be president, start acting like one. Now.


Roger L. Simon is an award-winning novelist, Academy Award-nominatd screenwriter and co-founder of PJ Media.  His next book – I Know Best: How Moral Narcissism Is Destroying Our Republic, If It Hasn’t Already – will be published by Encounter Books in June 2016.