Roger L. Simon

Next Up: Carly vs. Hillary on Pay Per View?

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I hope the other umpteem Republican candidates were watching Carly Fiorina on Hannity Thursday, because if they weren’t they should have been.  The former CEO absolutely killed it.  She appeared the most assured and best spoken of any of the candidates Hannity has interviewed thus far by a significant amount. She handled every issue from Iran to gay marriage with aplomb.  Indeed, she was even able to keep host Sean — who tends to, ahem, bloviate — in check.

Articulate and fearless, the other candidates should be wary lest Carly get on the debate stage with them.  When it comes to public speaking, this woman’s got it going.  That fearlessness she exhibits is particularly potent. Unlike most politicians, she’s not afraid to say what she thinks.  We’re so used to them doing just that that she tends to startle a bit, in a good way.  In the debate format, my guess is she will stand out.

She’s also considerably better on her feet than Our Lady of Chappaqua, who apparently just took a private jet to Ferguson to excoriate us all about race and the ever-popular income inequality.  There’s nothing I would like more than to see Carly go mano-a-mano with the Great Email Eraser. Forget Mayweather vs. Pacquiao.  I’d pay big money for Hillary vs. Carly on Pay Per View.  And so would a lot people. And I’m not talking about female wrestling or anything close.  Just verbal shots — the old Lincoln-Douglas thing.

I know what you’re thinking — never happen.  Well, that’s certainly the conventional wisdom. But I’m one of those people who is bored stiff by conventional wisdom and frankly despises it. Also, thanks to cable news and the general stupidity of everything, our politics has descended to a level far below Pay Per View boxing.  (The AP ran a picture of Ted Cruz with a gun to his head. A senior executive at Univision just sent out an Instagram of Donald Trump next to mass murderer Roof.) Putting Carly on with Hillary would uplift the process.  Problem is it would be less of a fair fight than Mayweather vs. Pacquiao  and that wasn’t very close.  Carly would destroy Hillary. After all, Our Lady of Chappaqua is the worst liar ever to run for president of the United States — a truly despicable human being.  The ref would have to stop it in the second round, or the fifteenth email, which ever comes first.

(Artwork created using multiple Shutterstock.com and AP images.)