Roger L. Simon

John and Ban's Not-So-Excellent Cairo Adventure

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You know you’re living in mundo bizarro when Egyptian strongman Abdel Fattah el-Sisi sounds (and is!) more reasonable than the U.S. secretary of State and the UN secretary general.

But that’s the way it is in this best of all possible worlds with John Kerry and Ban Ki-moon rocketing to Cairo to bring about a ceasefire in the latest Gaza War before Israel does something so rash as finally obliterating the murderous religious psychopaths of Hamas.  Heaven forfend!

El-Sisi undoubtedly knows better, as do numerous relatively more silent types like the Saudis and the Jordanians, all — or anyway most — of whom would like to see Hamas and its Muslim Brotherhood-Iran allies brought low, not to mention IS/ISIS and the rest of the mad Sunni branch. The people who live there — the semi-normal ones anyway — know that the Middle East is in serious need of a swamp draining and the only ones capable of doing it are the Israelis.  The Americans  under Obama are so out to lunch that they might as well be opening a McDonald’s franchise on Alpha Centauri.

Undeterred, John Kerry and Ban Ki-moon will be doing their level best to make sure that doesn’t happen — the swamp draining, that is.  So why the urge to preserve Hamas? In Ban’s case he represents an organization so anti-Semitic it makes the Wehrmacht seem like a lost branch of Hadassah.  The UN wouldn’t interrupt its endless and relentless anti-Israel attacks if the North Koreans were dropping a hydrogen bomb on Rikers Island.

As for Kerry, well, as we all know, he’s a man of peace and opposed to such thugs as the late Genghis Khan (pronounced Jen-giss, as in Little Richard’s “Jenny, Jenny“) but always wishes to reason with them first.  After all, a fella might win a Nobel Prize.  Or failing that, get the Democratic Party presidential nomination over Hillary, whose book isn’t selling.  Second time’s lucky.

Also, if you keep moving, you can avoid answering questions about the just-concluded Iran nuclear negotiations, which everyone knew were a joke in the first place and would end with an extension, just as they have been and just as the Iranians always wanted.

In the world of Obama and Kerry, it’s always the Islamofascist dictatorships that get placated and the democracies, like Israel, that get the boot.  The same goes for the United Nations, the mundo bizarro of mundo bizarros where countries like Libya and Syria end up on its Human Rights Council and where a plan to feed children during the Iraq war (Oil-for-Food) ends up the biggest scam in the history of the human race.

So John and Ban are off to Cairo for their excellent adventure.  I hope they get a chance to see the pyramids before the Islamists blow them up.

But I’d probably be dreaming if they did something really amazing and showed a little moral fiber for once, abandoned the equivalency horse-hockey and chose a genuine democracy over a homicidal terror cartel that will undoubtedly rearm and start this  pas de deux all over again in a year or two — this time with advanced weapons.  That might actually do something for the lives of the Palestinian people they claim to be so concerned about.

But that’s probably too much for John and Ban.  Wouldn’t want to ruin their excellent adventure.  And unlike the original film — but just like the Hamas leadership — they fly by private jet.

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