Roger L. Simon

Dept, of Good Thing He's Living in a Low Rent District

According to 9-11 panelist John Lehman, Bin Laden is alive and well (?) in the inaccessible South Waziristan region of West Pakistan. Who knows if that’s true, but here’s the interesting part – George Soros he’s not.

Asked how bin Laden was surviving, Lehman said he was getting money from outside countries, such as the United Arab Emirates, and high-ranking ministers inside Saudi Arabia.

“He is not a wealthy man,” Lehman said. “We ran that information into the ground, and discovered he only receives about $1 million a year from his family’s fortune. The rest of what he gets comes from radical sympathizers.”

Of course, most of us would be more than happy with a mil a year from the family trust, but UBL’s got a lot of overhead, if you think about it. Dirty nukes don’t come cheap. No wonder he hasn’t been putting out any videos lately. (hat tip: Jim Walker)

UPDATE: I see some people are taking this more seriously than I intended. Someone named “Slim” is even about to sit out the election because of this “disclosure.” I wouldn’t use it to pick a jelly bean flavor. I think we know by now that information of this nature is to be filed under “for raised eyebrows only.”