The Idiot's Guide to Destroying the Economy: a 12-Step Program

Think destroying the mighty economy of the United States is too big a job for you? Relax. Anyone can do it. A friend sent me a handy-dandy no-fuss 12-step program for wreaking financial havoc among even the world's most advanced economies. I adapt it below for your edification. Your congressmen probably already have a copy. The White House certainly does. But you might want to print it out in case some opportunity for spreading unhappiness comes your way:

1. Since investors and the market in general hate uncertainty, have a vast array of conflicting ad hoc policy decisions so as to create uncertainty everywhere.

2. Transfer money from those who create sustainable jobs to those who create unsustainable jobs, e.g., the government

3. Promise to invest money in things that will enhance the country's infrastructure, such as roads and internet access, but then practice bait and switch on a breathtaking scale, so the effort is swamped with pork for pet projects dear to Democrats

4. A sufficiently generous larding of pork can help ensure the destruction of bi-partisanship, so squandering the initial good will is definitely a very good move. After all, it's hard to get things done when you've alienated people whose help you need.

5. Undermine the ability of those who create jobs by increasing their taxes so there's less money available for investment.

6. While you're at it, offer to spread the income around by raising taxes, in the process, making it clear to those who work hard, invest in their educations, take risks, save, and delay gratification that they will see their money go to those who do not do these things.