The Star Chamber Comes to Texas

The old saying goes that a grand jury could indict a ham sandwich.  In reality, it’s worse.

Forget innocuous sandwiches, with or without Russian dressing.  In Texas, at least in Austin’s Travis County, you can indict the state’s governor, Rick Perry, for doing the job any intelligent citizen would want him to do — trying to get rid of an absolutely atrocious public official.

That official was District Attorney Rosemary Lehmberg, a dimwitted  and abusive drunk driver who ran that county’s — wait for it — “Public Integrity Unit.” Perry threatened to veto funding for said unit as long as Lehmberg was in control.  Maybe he had a little actual concern for public integrity — not that the good burghers of Austin would care.  Perry’s fortunate Lehmberg wasn’t found guilty of DUW (driving under weed) rather than alcohol, as she was.  Given the preferred lifestyle thereabouts, they would have erected a statue to her and summarily sent Perry off to Guantanamo without trial to be swapped out  for the last remaining al Qaeda maniacs.

(In case, you’re one of the 12 people left who hasn’t seen the video of Lehmberg’s DUI booking, it’s an eye-roller.  You can find it here.  Even more of an eye-roller are these dashboard videos of the DA’s arrest.)

Oh, Orwell, where art thou?

Scratch that — Orwell was far too subtle a writer to populate Animal Farm with  nincompoops on the level of Lehmberg, the “special prosecutor” operating a rinky-dink Star Chamber at her request or even the know-nothing hypocrites in a local watchdog group defending her with that equally Orwellian name “Texans for Public Justice.”  (Doesn’t that just sound like it’s from the wrong side of High Noon?)

But wait.  Nothing’s ever as bad as it seems — i.e.,  we’re in the last scene of  Dr. Strangelove and Slim Pickens has just climbed atop the bomb.

Already David Axelrod, of all people,  has taken to Twitter to defend Perry, writing “Perry indictment looks pretty sketchy.” (I’ll say!)  Since Axelrod is Obama’s chief campaign honcho, what’s up with that?

Well, it’s one of two things.  Either Axelrod has recently had a lobotomy or the Democrats are worried  the Travis County clowns have overreached and are fouling things up for 2016.  I’ll go with the latter. In fact,  I’ll go so far as to say they overreached big time and handed both Perry and Republicans in general a club to hit them with.

The question is, will the Republicans know how to use it?  Instapundit, as usual, is at the forefront of this discussion, noting:  “Some people seem to get it — see below — but if the GOP were serious it would be going after Dem prospects — Joaquin Castro, Andrew Cuomo, Elizabeth Warren, etc. — the same way.”

Yes, but the next question is how to go after them.  I would suggest withering contemptuous sarcasm.  “Liberals” and “progressives” these days have little or no sense of humor.   They can dish it out, but they sure as Hell can’t take it, Obama being the supreme example.

But I would add that Repubs make their comic jabs quick and succinct and then move on to the issues. This is advice for Perry himself who has jumped back into the public eye — and into contention for 2016 despite a less than successful foray in 2012 — by standing firm on secure borders.

Stay with that principally but crack wise about the Morons of Travis County.  And if anyone wants to follow up, just ask them if they have seen the video.  Is THAT the kind of person you want heading up your “Public Integrity Unit”?  Surely, you must be joking.