Biden’s Handlers Finally Cracking Down at the Border, but Not Exactly the Way We Need Them To

(AP Photo/Michael Probst)

Yes, it’s really true: Old Joe Biden’s handlers are finally cracking down at the border. After record numbers of people, including unknown quantities of criminals and terrorists, have streamed into the country ever since Old Joe started pretending to be president, the administration is taking action to contain its number one dumpster fire, the border crisis. Unfortunately for the Americans who have to suffer through this three-ring-circus presidency, however, Biden’s team isn’t actually doing a single thing to stop the massive and ever-increasing flow of migrants from coming into the country. Instead, it’s cracking down hard on those who would dare to try to get some relief from the skyrocketing inflation rates Biden has inflicted upon us by going down to Mexico to buy cheaper eggs. Once again, this administration is going to war against the Americans who try to escape the pain Old Joe has in store for us.


The BBC reported on Thursday that this crackdown is no laughing matter: “Attempts to smuggle eggs from Mexico or Canada can result in fines of up to $10,000 (£8,140), officials warn.” Ten grand! Why, in Biden’s economy, that would buy you a couple of cartons of eggs. The BBC noted that “US egg prices were up 60% in December compared to the previous year.” And that has led many to venture into the lands of our neighbors to the north and south in pursuit of cheaper eggs: “Between 1 October and 31 December alone, egg and poultry seizures rose 108%, according to Department of Agriculture statistics.”

In the face of this eggzasperating crisis, Jennifer De La O, the indomitable and courageous director of Customs and Border Protection’s (CBP) San Diego Field Operations, intrepidly tweeted Tuesday: “The San Diego Field Office has recently noticed an increase in the number of eggs intercepted at our ports of entry. As a reminder, uncooked eggs are prohibited entry from Mexico into the U.S. Failure to declare agriculture items can result in penalties of up to $10,000.”

It’s easy to see why some adventure-seekers would take this risk. Along the Southern border, on the U.S. side eggs are more than twice as expensive as they are on the Mexican side. Anthony Gago, who owns a market in the border town of San Ysidro, Cali., explains, “Our 100 count eggs are $40. If you buy them separately they cost you $9.99 and it’s obviously more expensive if you buy five.” But if you cross over into Tijuana, which some Americans used to do in pursuit of adventure and worse, a dozen eggs cost less than $3, compared to $8 in the Land of the Free-ish and Home of Bidenflation.


The BBC adds that “Border Report, a website which focuses on the US-Mexico border, reported a similar trend along the border between El Paso, Texas – where eggs often cost about $6 – and Ciudad Juarez, Mexico, where a carton of eggs costs approximately $3.40.”

Related: Eggs Are $8 but White House Wants You to Know Inflation Is Gone

But stern-faced American officials were adamant in their determination that Americans must not seek any relief from the disastrous impact of Biden’s handlers’ policies in this way. CBP Supervisory Agriculture Specialist Charles Payne was peremptory: “My advice is, don’t bring them over. If you fail to declare them or try to smuggle them, you face civil penalties.” He said that the $10,000 fine was “reserved for illegal commercial shipments,” but individual egg men (goo goo goo joob) wouldn’t get off easily: “Individuals face civil fines of approximately $300.” However, those who come clean will escape with a slap on the wrist, though they will escape eggless: “Those who declare their eggs may avoid fines altogether – although the eggs will be seized and ultimately destroyed.” Payne explained: “The advantage of declaring it is, we will pick it up with no penalty issued. If you fail to declare it or if you attempt to smuggle it, there’s going to be a penalty.”


Gee, Mr. Payne and Ms. De La O, your vigilance in protecting Americans from contraband cheap eggs is truly admirable. And while I’m aware that you are not the ones who make decisions of this kind, might it be possible for you to put in a word with your superiors about possibly exercising the same level of vigilance in keeping illegal migrants, and not just illegal eggs, out of the country? Or would Americans who want to enjoy some eggs at reasonable prices be advised to find an illegal migrant and have him bring them into the country, since that way no one would dare stop him and his eggs from entering? If the migrants were all carrying cartons of eggs, would Biden’s handlers suddenly start caring about the border?


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