Belmont Club

Dino Might

Speculation that intelligent dinosaurs may rule other planets may yet provide a convincing rationale for keeping the Second Amendment.  Ronald Breslow, Ph.D in the Journal of the American Chemical Society said “an implication from this work is that elsewhere in the universe there could be life forms based on D-amino acids and L-sugars. Such life forms could well be advanced versions of dinosaurs, if mammals did not have the good fortune to have the dinosaurs wiped out by an asteroidal collision, as on Earth. We would be better off not meeting them.”

Unless that is, one were equipped with the armaments described in this classic thread on Field and Stream.  Steven Templar by a careful study of the effect of real world big game weapons has actually worked out a reasonably scientific way of measuring the dinosaur stopping power of a firearm. In his book Rexgun, Templar:

examines the history, use, and terminal ballistics of bullets, cartridges, and rifles suitable for use hunting T. rex. It offers advice and unique formulae that can aid a hunter in the selection of appropriate cartridges and bullets. And, it explores T. rex in ways never before seen in print. Included are numerous photographs and detailed tables. And, to aid with shot placement, a Target Areas Diagram of a Tyrannosaurus rex. Hunters, gun enthusiasts, and dinosaur fans will all find rexGun intriguing, exciting, and hard to put down.

What this ignores, of course, is the probability that intelligent dinosaurs will shoot back. And considering their large size and monstrous strength, this probably means that they will be packing correspondingly high firepower. At an equal level of technology, with man stripped of his advantage in intelligence, raw strength may once again rule the roost. Hence, Dr. Breslow’s observation that “we would be better off not meeting them.”

But perhaps Dr Breslow is wrong. Suppose the advanced dinosaurs don’t have any guns at all? Time Magazine recently cited studies which show that liberals are smarter than conservatives. “A British team found that kids with higher intelligence scores were more likely to grow into adults who vote for Liberal Democrats, even after the researchers controlled for socioeconomics.”

This would imply that intelligent dinosaurs on other planets would also be very liberal dinosaurs who have long since eschewed the use of such things as weapons. Any weapons among saurians who resisted the trend would already have been taken from their cold, dead, claws. They would be completely unarmed. Moreover, they would presumably have long since established “a world without nuclear weapons”. They will have “no unproven missile defense systems”. Finally, they will have ceased all investments in “advanced combat systems”. For all their giant size, they would be utterly helpless before puny man. In that case, they would be better off not meeting us.

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