Belmont Club

Preventing The Zombie Apocalypse

The NRO has a review — pardon the pun — of a cool new game called “Tea Party Zombies Must Die”. From the screenshots made available one can see what your average Tea Party Zombie looks like. Who wouldn’t be motivated to fight them?


Billy Bob Zombie

"She Came From Alaska to Feast On Your Flesh"

Scary. But you knew that already. Where do zombies come from? Focus groups somewhere? According to Stephanie Fox they must just be the product of our fears.  Interest in Zombies appears to spike whenever people are stressed out according to her research. “We’ve got a line graph showing the number of zombie movies coming out in the West each year since 1910 — and there are definite spikes during certain years, which always seem to happen eerily close to historical events involving war or social upheaval.”

The argument isn’t entirely convincing because the Great War was probably more stressful to France than May, 1968 was. Yet only two zombie movies were made in 1920 as opposed to a whopping five in 1968.  You would have expected a spate of zombie movies after 1918, like “All Dead on the Western Front” and “A Farewell to the Living Dead”. But such movies were never made. Well maybe people liked the dead better in 1920. They built monuments like the Menin Gate to friends they would never see again. Maybe by 1968 you wished everyone who was dead would turn into a zombie.

The Zombie has also made the transition from the original sense of a reanimated person with no will of his or her own, as understood by Bob Hope, to that of the product of malevolent experimentation by the Umbrella Corporation.  From a political perspective, Zombies were originally Democrats who became, through some process of media transformation, card carrying KKK Republicans, probably around the same time the KKK stopped being Democrat.


The Tea Party Zombie is clearly a Republican Type.  Why they’re attacking is anybody’s guess. Maybe they’re mad at having to pay taxes. However that may be, Jimmy Hoffa (the son, not the father or else it would be really spooky), believes that America is facing a plague of some of kind of Tea Party enemy who are threatening to pull off the policy equivalent of a Zombie Apocalypse.

This whole discussion is slightly disturbing. Perhaps America would be better off if it united to fight Nazi dinosaurs.

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