The Morning Briefing: Granny Maojackets' Emails Are Back!

Rando Friday

Wandering through the end of this week’s news I wasn’t expecting anything about America’s least favorite alcoholic non-president to show up. Surprisingly, the story I happened upon wasn’t about Jeffrey Epstein (although there was some severed cat’s head weirdness about him), but rather about Granny’s emails:

August in Washington can be the political equivalent of an elephant graveyard: One good rain can wash away the dirt and expose the bones of scandals past.

And this August did not disappoint. Thanks to the relentless investigative work of Senate Finance Committee Chairman Chuck Grassley (R-Iowa) and Senate Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs Committee Chairman Ron Johnson (R-Wis.), we are learning that the Hillary Clinton email case may not really be settled.

A staff memo updating the two senators’ long-running probe discloses that the FBI — the version run in 2016 by the now-disgraced and fired James Comey, Andrew McCabe and Peter Strzok — failed to pursue access to “highly classified” evidence that could have resolved important questions.

While I don’t like to disparage law enforcement, the FBI is a federal bureaucracy and the fact that an incompetent, hyperpartisan slacker like James Comey could rise to the top just confirms all of the bad things I think about the government.

Many might question why it’s even relevant to keep talking about this. Well, one reason is that Hillary still does.

Whenever given an opportunity, Hillary loves to try and delegitimize President Trump’s victory over her. As the media loves doing the same, they fawn over everything she says.

A key component of her “I was robbed!” story is the idea that the talk about her servers and emails was a distraction that did irreparable damage to her campaign. She, of course, also insists that there was never anything worth investigating.

She and her fans also love to laughably blame James Comey for her failure, when his whitewashing probably helped her:

As I previously wrote, then-FBI Director Comey’s original draft findings in the Clinton case concluded her transmission of classified emails through an unsecure server was “grossly negligent,” the legal standard supporting a felony charge under the Espionage Act.

But the findings were edited and the term changed to “extremely careless,” and Comey chose on his own to announce on July 5, 2016, that he would not seek criminal charges, a decision that the DOJ’s IG concluded had wrongly usurped prosecutors’ authority to make charging decisions.

The more we learn about the Comey-era FBI, the more it seems as if it functioned as a subsidiary of the Democratic National Committee. The conclusion of this article questions “whether there are two systems of justice inside the FBI — one for the Clintons, and one for the rest of the country.”

Clinton apologists are fond of reminding everyone that they have never been indicted for anything. I’ve written for years that that is because they are very good criminals.

Maybe they’ve had more inside help than we knew.

Puppet girl? 

My fave conspiracy theory of the week is that AOC’s prolific Twitter presence may have been ghost-written by the chief of staff that she recently had to get rid of.

It’s fun speculation, but probably not true. I truly believe the one thing she’s good at is belching words, whether from her mouth or her keyboard.

She will probably return to form soon and we will all be pining for the halcyon days of her brief Twitter silence.

BTW…

Thanks to all who have been reading these first couple of weeks. I know I’m having fun. One day we’ll do a big meet-up, either at a fine adult drinking establishment or a re-education camp.

PJM Linktank

NeverTrump Grifter Bill Kristol Attempts to Defend Trump-Challenger, Steps on a Rake Instead

GOP Smashes Another Fundraising Record in July

Hasbro Has a New ‘Monopoly: Socialism’ Game and Socialists Are Not Happy

Gillette: Okay, Maybe Men Aren’t So Bad After All

ENDORSED: No, Starbucks, I Do Not Want ‘Pumpkin Spice’ in August

‘Mental Torture!’: Homeless UK Immigrant Complains About Free Container Homes

Is Gen Z a Socialist Revolution in the Making?

Court Decision Imperils the Electoral College

From the Mothership and Beyond

McConnell To Dems On Filibuster: Aren’t You Tired Of Rule-Change Backfires Yet?

Comedy Gold: Brian Stelter Upset Over Fox News Hiring Sarah Sanders, Gets Destroyed In The Comments

LOL, we’re pretending there’s only one? ABC chose a debate moderator who hates Trump

So sad when people fall out of love: Why Obama Dropped Biden

Capitalism, FTW: Trump won’t get Greenland, but GOP groups are cashing in on the idea with T-shirts

It’s more annoying than Apple users: Apple Card’s bizarre cleaning alert: Beware denim and leather

Expert Breaks Down for AOC Why We Have The Electoral College

CNN Wastes No Time In Lying About New Border Regulations

#MGGA Update: Trump Joked To Aides: What If We Trade Puerto Rico For Greenland?

#MGGA Update 2: FACT CHECK: Did Harry Truman Really Try To Buy Greenland Back In The Day?

MLB bans playing in Venezuela amid Trump order

Yikes: 12-year-old boy rescued after jumping from kidnapper’s moving truck

Let the arrest be viral too: Cold Case: Cops searching for man licking Blue Bell ice cream in viral video

TSA urges consumers to change identification as Real ID deadline draws near

Bee Me

Reality Criticized For Not More Clearly Distinguishing Itself From Satirehttps://t.co/VOLvRdCage

— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) August 22, 2019

The Kruiser Kabana

Found a new hobby: Woman finds 3.72-carat yellow diamond while learning how to find diamonds

Self-limiting toilet paper dispensers sound like commie hell

Nice beard, ma’am

Be happy, it irritates all the right people.

___

Stephen Kruiser is the author of “Don’t Let the Hippies Shower” and “Straight Outta Feelings: Political Zen in the Age of Outrage,” both of which address serious subjects in a humorous way. Monday through Friday he edits PJ Media’s “Morning Briefing.”