News & Politics

Philly Phanatic Out-Polls Trump in PA

Better fur, for sure.

Maybe it’s the fur?

Pennsylvania voters, when asked to choose the most qualified candidate to hold the nation’s highest office, preferred the Phillies’ mascot over the presumed Republican nominee, Donald Trump.

The poll, conducted by the usually-straitlaced firm Public Policy Polling, reports that 46 percent of state residents surveyed felt the fuzzy green Phillie Phanatic was better qualified to lead the country than the perpetually-flushed billionaire with the questionable hair.

Some 40 percent of voters said they would trust Trump over the Phanatic — which some would call a paltry number against an opponent whose go-to move is a belly thrust.

Fourteen percent said they “weren’t sure.”

The firm, which takes a liberal slant but was the most accurate predictor of the 2012 presidential election, also asked voters to choose a candidate from the four available options, including Libertarian and Green party candidates. In that question, voters preferred Hillary Clinton over Trump, 41 percent to 40 percent.

In a head-to-head matchup, Trump and Clinton tied, both amassing 44 percent.

At this point in almost any presidential election the polling is about as useful as a bald guy’s blow dryer. Might as well make it a little fun.

Then again, there is a very real possibility that the Philly Phanatic has more fleshed-out policy positions than der Orangenführer.

What I am really looking forward to is Trump’s Twitter response to this poll.

Philly Phanatic has been a loser for years. Sad. Green. Not a real man at all.

When Trump is president, he will gather all the best mascots to determine what the Phanatic’s fate should be.

Also, we were unable to confirm the rumor that Bill Kristol has contacted the Philly Phanatic about a possible third-party run with John Kasich.