The Terrorist Gun Control Act of 2015

In response to the terrorist attack in San Bernardino, President Obama and Democratic legislators are set to introduce a bill to address the problem of terrorists getting their hands on too many guns and too much ammunition.

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The Terrorist Gun Control Act of 2015 will also seek to regulate terrorist activity by limiting the amount of explosives a terrorist can legally purchase.

Introduced by Senator Harry Reid in the Senate and Rep. Nancy Pelosi in the House, HR 911 would:

1. Limit each terrorist to one (1) assault rifle and 100 rounds of ammunition.

2. Limit each terrorist to two (2) handguns from an approved list of makes and models, while allowing for only 50 rounds of ammo per piece.

3. Any terrorist who purchases tactical assault clothing – including bullet proof vests – will have to register the gear with the Department of Homeland Security.

4. Any terrorist who wishes to receive a licence to buy explosives must demonstrate a proficiency in handling the material by blowing up a target designated by the ATF.

5. The bill forbids terrorists from screaming anything in Arabic while carrying out the attack. America is an English first country and if you can’t shout out praises to Allah in English, you have no business being a terrorist in the US.

6. Any violation of the statute will result in the suspension of the terrorist’s licence to commit acts of terror in the US for a period of not less than 3 months and not more than 1 year.

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“This is what I call ‘common sense gun control,'” said Reid. “The terrorists are going to get their hands on guns and explosives anyway, why not regulate their purchases to keep the body count down”?

The White House has voiced support for the bill, warning Republicans not to obstruct this vital legislation. “Republicans who think we should be trying to stop terrorist attacks instead of regulating them are in denial. Government regulation is a time honored means of controlling behavior as we see in the huge success of the First Lady’s school lunch program and her entire ‘Let’s Move’ campaign.”

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