News & Politics

Candidate for Congress: 'I Was Abducted by Aliens'

A tourist photographs an alien outside a t-shirt and souvenir shop in Roswell, N.M.,, Tuesday, May 22, 2007. (AP Photo/Jake Schoellkopf)

This is awesome:

Florida has a U.S. senator who once flew aboard the Space Shuttle.

A congressional candidate from Miami can go one better: Bettina Rodriguez Aguilera says she’s been aboard a spaceship too. But this one was crewed by aliens. As in extraterrestrials.

According to Aguilera, three blond beings visited her when she was only seven years old. Since then, however, they’ve continued to communicate with her telepathically. Back in 2009, she explained what happened when the aliens took her for a ride on their spaceship:

I went in. There were some round seats that were there, and some quartz rocks that controlled the ship — not like airplanes.

Two years ago, Mrs. Aguilera added that the aliens reminded her of the “Christ the Redeemer” statue in Rio de Janeiro.

Great.

She says they also shared secret knowledge with her — which she’s happy to pass on to us mere mortals. For instance, her alien friends told her there are 30,000 skulls hidden in a cave on Malta. Additionally, she was told that Africa is the “energy center” of the world. How and why that is, nobody understands, but hey, I guess these aliens are just much, much more intelligent than us. She also was told by these aliens that the Coral Castle, a sculpture in Florida built by an eccentric, is an ancient Egyptian pyramid.

Now, it’s quite easy to laugh at this lady, but she’s apparently well-connected. Her daughter is Bettina Inclan Agen, the former Republican National Committee Hispanic outreach director. Oh, and Jarrod Agen, her son-in-law, is Vice President Mike Pence’s deputy chief of staff.

I kid you not.

The good news? Since announcing her candidacy in August, Mrs. Aguilera has raised a paltry $10,000. Clearly, even her good connections can’t help her now. One hopes.