News & Politics

[WATCH] Brooklyn Park Paints Circles on Grass to Force Public Into Social Distancing

A man holds a flag as he attends a rally to protest stay-at-home orders put into place due to the COVID-19 outbreak Tuesday, April 21, 2020, outside the Missouri Capitol in Jefferson City, Mo. Several hundred gathered to protest the restrictions and urge the reopening of businesses closed in an effort to slow the spread of the coronavirus. (AP Photo/Jeff Roberson)

I don’t know if this is worse than the pool noodle hats that a restaurant in Germany is asking people to wear, but it’s close. A park in Brooklyn has painted what looks like parking spots for humans on the grass six feet apart from one another to force the public to behave. And they’re doing it. The New York Post had the story.

Some parkgoers had the six-foot-diameter spaces all to themselves, while others were crammed full with as many as four people each.

Benches nearby held people eagerly waiting for a spot to open up, with a group of girls swiftly swooping in when they saw a couple getting ready to leave.

If this is the “new normal” I want nothing to do with it. I’ve adopted Ron Swanson’s attitude. I’ll do what I want. And if the government tries to stop me, I’m calling my lawyer. This is out of control. Are you going to sit in a little circle on the grass like a good social distancing sheep?

If you don’t, they’ll probably sic the social distancing dogs on you next. Are you ready for this?

To be fair, this contraption isn’t any dumber than these.

Is 2020 over yet?

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