Maryland Governor Decrees That Only Essential Workers Who Show Their Papers Can Get Haircuts

It seems these bizarre stories roll in faster than I can cover them. They are stories of power-mad elected officials reveling like pigs in mud in their newfound power to direct every movement of their citizens. The latest decree comes from Governor Larry Hogan of Maryland and decrees who is allowed to get haircuts.

Hogan’s new ~~order~~ guidelines say that only essential workers can get haircuts, by appointment, and salons may only have one customer at a time. But how does a salon determine who is “essential” and who is worthless non-essential? Papers from your employer, of course. That’s not creepy or dystopian at all.

If you are essential you can get a hair cut in Maryland, Governor is a really nice guy. Wish I was essential, maybe in the next life

— Butch Mawyer (@ErnestMawyer) April 22, 2020

According to Fox News, “The customer will have to provide written documentation about the requirements or standards from their employer, and the barbershop or salon must keep a copy.” So now the local hair salon or barbershop is keeping files on customers? Yep…that’s not concerning at all. Move along, nothing to see here.

There’s no word on what would happen to a non-essential person who managed to fake paperwork in Photoshop to declare themselves “essential” in order to avoid cutting their own bangs. But don’t worry, I’m sure Gov. Hogan will come up with something punitive soon.

Maryland barbershops and hair salons can now provide services to essential employees that are required to maintain a certain “grooming standard.” Here’s a list of guidlines they must follow pic.twitter.com/Xnhxjhi0gf

— Sean Streicher (@SeanStreicher) April 21, 2020

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Megan Fox is the author of “Believe Evidence; The Death of Due Process from Salome to #MeToo,” and host of The Fringe podcast. Follow on Twitter @MeganFoxWriter

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