News & Politics

Finger-Licking Gross: Bloomberg Spreads Saliva All Over Buffet During Coronavirus Outbreak

Screenshot via Twitter video

It’s not surprising that Mike Bloomberg is dropping out of the presidential race. If it were up to me he’d be executed for what he was caught on camera doing during flu and coronavirus season. Let me rephrase that: anyone who licks their fingers and then touches community food should be taken out, and if not executed, severely beaten. Bring back the stocks! This should be classified as biological terrorism. Bloomberg knows that right now the world is panicking over the coronavirus outbreak, washing their hands, buying out face masks, and this human turd is licking his hands and then touching other people’s food. Burn it all with fire and then salt the ashes with Lysol. He should be quarantined in his mansion for the rest of his life.

Not only does he monkey around in the pizza box, tearing off a piece of something and then throwing the rest back in for some unfortunate person behind him in line, he then goes to suck on every finger on his left hand. Who licks their fingers like this other than my five-year-old while I’m shouting “STOP THAT! USE A NAPKIN! WE’RE NOT ANIMALS!” And THEN his saliva covered fingers go to touch the lid of the coffee box next to the pizza. (Sidenote: is there a grosser combination than pizza and coffee? Who ordered this food?)

The Internet is not amused. Bloomberg should be sent to a CDC reeducation camp where he is forced to learn sanitary behavior (if we aren’t going to execute him).

Why yes, he did buy airtime to accuse the president of not handling coronavirus properly, and then promptly went about licking a buffet with his mouth germs. Great balls of fire! No wonder there’s a plague if this is the way people behave. If you need me, I’ll be in my house until it’s over, trying to get this disgusting video out of my head and washing my hands every ten minutes or so.

Megan Fox is the author of “Believe Evidence; The Death of Due Process from Salome to #MeToo,” and host of The Fringe podcast. Follow on Twitter @MeganFoxWriter