News & Politics

NOT SATIRE: Missouri Councilwoman Takes Oath on Dr. Seuss Book

NOT SATIRE: Missouri Councilwoman Takes Oath on Dr. Seuss Book
Twitter screenshot of Kelli Dunaway taking the oath of office on Dr. Seuss.

Continuing the infantilization of America and solidifying worldwide-held beliefs that Americans are stupid, a Missouri councilwoman, Kelli Dunaway (D), was sworn into office with her hand on a Dr. Suess book. “Just because we’ve done things the way we’ve always done them is no reason to keep doing them that way,” she told ABC News.

America hasn’t seen anything this ridiculous since RompHims for men. In the same way rompers infantilized men, using children’s books to swear in members of our legislatures similarly reduces our vaunted institutions into a clown show.

Hilariously, her little stunt got her accused of racism.

Another Facebook commenter pointed out criticism Dr. Seuss and his books faced in recent years over his portrayal of people of color. Dunaway ignored most of the disparaging comments, but thanked the woman who made her aware of the criticism.

At least we can be thankful for the little things, like the outrage crowd eating itself over hidden racism in The Cat in the Hat. Dunaway actually chose Oh! The Places You’ll Go! to take her oath of office. This book comes in handy if you’ve forgotten where your feet are or doubt you’re smart enough to breathe.

You have brains in your head.

You have feet in your shoes.

You can steer yourself any direction you choose.

One can only hope that choosing to make a mockery out of the serious pledge to protect and defend the Constitution will be the catalyst to take her to a new place in the next election–the private sector. There is one good piece of advice in the book she picked for the profession she’s currently in. Should she ever meet Chuck Schumer or Nancy Pelosi, she will need to remember this passage from the famous story.

“And when you’re alone there’s a very good chance

you’ll meet things that scare you right out of your pants

There are some, down the road between hither and yon,

that can scare you so much you won’t want to go on.”

Meanwhile, real satirists over at the “Babylon Bee” are suffering trying to come up with something weirder than this to report. No wonder Snopes can’t quit accusing the Bee of trying to sound like real news. The real news is insane.

Megan Fox is the author of Believe Evidence; The Death of Due Process from Salome to #MeToo. Follow her on Twitter @MeganFoxWriter

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