I have a bit of Scottish blood in me. It is a fact I like to bring up at Scottish Festivals or while watching “Braveheart.” It also provides a good excuse for running around the backyard in my kilt and blue faceprint chasing after the gophers with my sword (They may take our lives, but they will never take… our zucchini!).
Scotland used to be cool. My wife and I toured Scotland on our honeymoon. I bought the above-mentioned sword at a tiny store built entirely out of stone on the shores of Loch Ness. And that may have been the coolest man-thing to ever happen to me in my entire life. No self-respecting man can stand on the shores of Loch Ness and not buy a sword. We also toured my family’s ancestral castle — well, what was left of it.
My wife looked at me and said, “Do you realize that your family built this castle with their own hands?” I said, “Actually, sweetheart, according to this historical sign, my ancestors beat the living crap out of the lord and stole this castle.” I also drank some great scotch and ate haggis. I even fished Loch Ness. I mean, c’mon. It’s Loch Ness, you have to at least wet a line. I still have the lure because when am I ever going to be at Loch Ness again?
No, I didn’t catch anything.
Speaking of fishing and how Scotland used to be cool, it is with a heavy heart that I report on how a once-great country continues to be reduced to not even a shadow of its former self. The University of the Highlands and Islands has added a trigger warning to Hemingway’s “The Old Man And The Sea.” The reason? Well, the classic story contains… wait for it… “graphic fishing scenes”. The university is defending the move on the grounds that students need to be “informed.”
Oh. Dear. God.
Yes, the story does contain “graphic fishing scenes” because, and let me put this as delicately as I can, IT’S ABOUT FISHING. No angler has ever gone out in a boat with a harp and a book of positive affirmations and gently convinced the fish into jumping on a line. Ever. But the story of Santiago and his fight to catch a massive marlin may be too much for the delicate flowers who are apparently poncing around the University of the Highlands and Islands. Because these sorry scholars can enjoy a charmed life by simply demanding it.
“The Old Man And The Sea” is about more than just fishing. It deals with pride, pity, defeat, resilience, and even faith and friendship. It deals with man struggling with nature. Moreover, it is a snapshot and an allegory of the human experience, which seems to be more than the students can bear. Whether or not one believes in a transcendent God, nature is indeed often red in tooth and claw, and life is frequently unfair. And these are things that are unthinkable to the current generation of college attendees. I think we can dispense with calling them “students.”
Your humble correspondent is not the only one to notice how asinine this trigger warning is. The Daily Mail picked up the original story and had actual scholars weigh in. Hemingway biographer Mary Dearborn commented, “This is nonsense. It blows my mind to think students might be encouraged to steer clear of the book. The world is a violent place and it is counterproductive to pretend otherwise. Much of the violence in the story is rooted in the natural world. It is the law of nature.”
Emeritus professor of history at the University of Exeter Jeremy Black told the paper, “This is particularly stupid given the dependency of the economy of the Highlands and Islands on industries such as fishing and farming. Many great works of literature have included references to farming, fishing, whaling, or hunting. Is the university seriously suggesting all this literature is ringed with warnings?”
I’m guessing “Moby Dick” is not in the university library’s stacks.
A trigger warning for “The Old Man And The Sea” may be the byproduct of a faculty and administration that simply cannot stop themselves from sanitizing everything for students. Or it could well be that the young people of today are simply ill-equipped to handle real life and all of the struggles that it entails, in which case we should be very wary of what could happen when that generation finally has to confront reality.
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