Culture

Oscars Attendees Must Wear Masks... But Only Off-Camera

AP Photo/Chris Pizzello

(Blogger’s Note: I’m typing this up as I’m dealing with the side effects of my second vaccine dose yesterday. So far I’ve enjoyed fever, chills, dehydration, and the one-two punch of fatigue and insomnia. At least it’s better than getting COVID, right? So if this blog post doesn’t make sense, give me an “E” for “Exhausted.” I’m also very relieved. Getting vaccinated makes sense to me, and I hope it makes sense to you. If not, how is it any of my business? Do what you want. Your body, your choice.)

If you’re fed up with Anthony Fauci telling you what to do, join the club. It makes absolutely zero sense to tell Americans that we must get vaccinated or we’re killing Grandma, while also telling us that once we’re vaccinated, our lives can’t change at all. He’s been strenuously discouraging people from getting vaccinated, and then blaming them for actually listening to him.

Last week Ted Cruz got a lot of crap for walking around without a mask, because he believes all the available evidence that the vaccine works. For over a year, our leaders have told us that we can get back to normal once we get a vaccine. Well, now it’s here, and we’re trying to get back to normal despite the busybody scolds who think a mask is going to do something a vaccine won’t.

Speaking of getting back to normal, what’s more normal than complaining about the Oscars? And now we get to complain about the Oscars and the liberal left’s obsession with unscientific, performative mask nonsense! Marc Malkin, Variety:

The Academy is not asking Oscar attendees to wear face masks while cameras are rolling during the live ceremony on April 25…

Because the ceremony — being held at Union Station in downtown Los Angeles — is being treated as a TV/film production, masks are not required for people on camera, an Academy staffer explained.

However, when guests are not on camera, they are being asked to wear masks. For example, masks should be put on during commercial breaks.

Apparently this has become standard practice in Hollywood. I just watched one of the behind-the-scenes featurettes for the current season of Mayans MC* on FX, and it showed how they were allowed to film the current season during the pandemic. The cast and crew were all masked up on the set, but then the actors took off their masks whenever the director called action. They’d shoot the scene, and when it was over they’d all put their masks back on.

No, seriously. Look!

So apparently Mayans MC takes place before the pandemic, or maybe it’s set in a world where the pandemic never happened. I have no idea how COVID has affected the criminal activity among biker gangs in real life, but I guess the writers just didn’t want to deal with it on the show. It’s stressful enough just moving hundreds of kilos of heroin across the border without having to deal with the coronavirus on top of it, right?

But okay, here’s my question: How does a virus know when a camera is pointed at you and when it isn’t?

How is this filming protocol supposed to work, scientifically speaking? If two actors are in the same shot together, breathing the same air, what is the benefit of making them put on masks as soon as the scene is over? Does the virus just wait off-camera until they’re done?

And if Hollywood celebrities don’t need to wear masks while they’re on the clock, or sitting in the audience at the Oscars, why do the rest of us need to wear masks? Does a virus get star-struck? Does it say, “Oh no, I’d better not infect this guy, he’s Leonardo Di Caprio”?

The Oscars won’t have a host this year — they couldn’t find anybody who doesn’t have bad tweets from 2013, apparently — but I hope the attendees enjoy their evening and either do or do not wear masks. If they’re vaccinated, it really doesn’t matter either way. Also, The Sound of Metal is the only one of the nominees I’ve seen in the past year, so I hope it wins something.

If you want to wear a mask, go ahead. I’m now fully vaccinated, and I’m waiting two weeks like all the brainy science guys say. But after that, I’m done with this crap. I don’t drink anymore, but on Cinco de Mayo I’m going to eat all the chimichangas the server can carry out of the kitchen. ¡La pandemia ha muerto!

*One-sentence review of Mayans MC: Not as good as Sons of Anarchy, but I’ll watch Edward James Olmos in pretty much anything.