News & Politics
Premium

I Am Really Freaking Sick of Anthony Fauci

AP Photo/Alex Brandon

Why should you get vaccinated against COVID-19?

This isn’t a rhetorical question. It’s a question the people who are trying to convince you to get vaccinated need to answer. Here are just a few valid answers:

  • “So you don’t get COVID and die.”
  • “So you don’t get COVID and live, with horrible symptoms that linger for months or possibly years.”
  • “So you can hug your loved ones.”
  • “So you can reopen your business.”
  • “So you can try to get back to something resembling your normal life before you were told to lock yourself down and lead a bleak, isolated existence for an entire year.”

Anything along those lines would be acceptable. Pretty much anything that gives people hope! That’s called an incentive. When you’re trying to convince folks to do something they may or may not want to do, it’s a good idea to give them an incentive.

Instead, the people in power who expect our trust keep hemming and hawing. “Well, don’t get too excited! Just because you get vaccinated, that doesn’t mean you can actually do anything. Yes, you absolutely should get vaccinated, and also no, we’re not going to give you any upside to getting vaccinated. Just sit there where you are, don’t move, and await further instructions. Which will be more of the same, every single time.”

I am really freaking sick of Anthony Fauci. Nobody has done more over the past year to debase the name of science than this clown. Just look at this crap:

“When you don’t have the data and you don’t have the actual evidence, then you’ve got to make a judgment call.”

What? I need to look at that again:

“When you don’t have the data and you don’t have the actual evidence, then you’ve got to make a judgment call.”

Yes, Anthony Fauci actually said that. On national TV. Well, on CNN, at least.

Isn’t that great? Hey now, don’t worry about all those pesky numbers and all that confusing technical jargon. Just trust the guy who knows what he’s talking about because he says he knows what he’s talking about. Who do you think you are, anyway? Are you a scientist? No? Then shut up and do as you’re told.

This isn’t science. This is religion. Fauci has styled himself as the Pope of COVID, and his enablers in the media have been more than happy to confer him with papal infallibility. He’s established himself as the only true mediator between the unwashed masses and God Science. And whenever he says something that doesn’t make sense or he contradicts himself, well, don’t you fret your little head about it. You just need to have faith. Pope Anthony the First would never lie to you.

Well, except when he lied to you about masks. (“Absolutely do not wear a mask. On second thought, you must wear a mask at all times. You know what? Make that two masks! Would you believe… three masks?”) And when he lied about herd immunity. And whatever else he’s lied about that he hasn’t admitted lying about yet. That was different, because you just weren’t ready to hear the truth. You couldn’t handle it. And Pope Anthony’s impeccable judgment in protecting you from reality is all the more reason for you to trust him.

Don’t you see how easy it is when you just stop thinking and believe in science?

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m no anti-vaxer. The messaging on this has been awful, and Fauci has destroyed his credibility, but that doesn’t mean I’ve taken leave of my senses. I’m getting vaccinated as soon as I can. And then you know what I’m gonna do?

Whatever I damn well please.