News & Politics

Stephen King Complains About Vaccines in Florida, Two Weeks After He Was Vaccinated... in Florida

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Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis seems to drive a lot of liberals and other NeverTrumpers out of their minds, for reasons that continue to bewilder even a cuck RINO traitor like Yours Truly. (As my haters like to point out, I probably voted for Biden and Hillary and Obama. I’m just that soyfaced, baby!) For almost a year now, our moral, ethical, and intellectual betters have cheered Andrew Cuomo as some sort of COVID superhero, even as the corpses in the Empire State pile up higher than that building. The stench in New York is proving too strong for even the most stalwart reality-denying journalist, so Cuomo is finally getting his turn under the bus. The truth about him is finally coming to light. But these lamebrains still have this fantasy that DeSantis is killing everybody in Florida, even as his state continues to recover and even thrive. Libs are finally being forced to admit that Cuomo is less Superman than Lex Luthor, but they still need a Republican villain, no matter how many lives DeSantis saves.

If you want to see this cognitive dissonance at work, look no further than the Master of Horror himself. Here’s Florida resident Stephen King, opining on current events via the modern miracle of Twitter:

My goodness. That’s quite an accusation. This guy really can whip up a plot out of nothing.

And it’s particularly amusing because King also claimed he was vaccinated two weeks ago… in Florida!

King owns two houses in Casey Key, which is about 100 miles south of Pasco County where he was vaccinated. He could’ve stopped along the way at Lakewood Ranch, which is right between the two places, and he would’ve seen the homes of the people he hates who are also eligible to be vaccinated. They’re not eligible because they’re rich, like King is. And it’s not because they’re Republican, like King decidedly isn’t. It’s because they’re elderly.

Stephen King is 73 years young. Two weeks ago, he got a vaccine against a virus that’s deadliest to people in his age group. That’s because the state of Florida is prioritizing those people.

The elderly are the most vulnerable to COVID. Florida is vaccinating the elderly first. It really shouldn’t be a difficult concept to grasp, even for the guy who subjected the world to The Tommyknockers.

For almost a year, we’ve heard libs scream, “Why are you killing Grandma?!?” Now they’ve stopped on a dime, and suddenly it’s: “Why aren’t you killing Grandma?!?” Doublethink is amazing.

And isn’t it weird to hear the guy who wrote The Standtwice, so far — complain about suppressing a global pandemic? I know it’s probably unfair to expect 100% cognitive function from the guy who was too drunk and coked out to remember writing Cujo, but c’mon, man.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad Stephen King got vaccinated. I’m glad he’s healthy, and I hope he keeps writing increasingly awful novels for years to come. He’s living the American dream, no matter how much he despises the country that has rewarded him so richly for cranking out dozens of books without endings. He has the right to hate any politician he wants, for any reason he concocts in that fertile fictive imagination of his.

Of course, if DeSantis were a Democrat and King were a Republican, his opinions would be hate speech and everybody would yell at him and he’d be #canceled. If you don’t believe me, just ask Gina Carano.

Let’s just hope Stephen King lives long enough to watch Ron DeSantis run for president. It’ll be fun to watch him bite the hand that saved him.