News & Politics

AMERICA SAVED: Robert E. Lee Statue Removed from Capitol Building

AMERICA SAVED: Robert E. Lee Statue Removed from Capitol Building

It’s been over 150 years since the Confederate States of America were soundly and justly defeated, but it’s never too late to panic about them coming back somehow. Libs love nothing more than screaming about racism, and it’ll never go out of style. Last week, the worst governor in the United States not named Newsom banned the sale of Confederate flags in New York, which must be a relief to all his constituents with shuttered businesses and crumbling lives. Sure, you can’t feed your family and you’re thinking about sucking on a tailpipe for Christmas, but at least you don’t have to look at the Stars and Bars!

And now another symbol of the Confederacy has been resoundingly vanquished. Once again, our fearless leaders have saved us all. Dominick Mastrangelo, The Hill:

A statue of Confederate General Robert E. Lee was removed from the U.S. Capitol overnight.

The statue has stood with one of America’s first president, George Washington, as the state of Virginia’s contribution to the National Statuary Hall Collection at the Capitol for more than 100 years…

“We should all be proud of this important step forward for our Commonwealth and our country,” [Virginia Governor Ralph] Northam said. “The Confederacy is a symbol of Virginia’s racist and divisive history, and it is past time we tell our story with images of perseverance, diversity, and inclusion…”

Like the old saying goes: “Those who cannot remember the past… will be just fine, probably. Whew!”

As you may recall, but The Hill doesn’t mention, Ralph Northam is the guy who just last year was forced to explain why his college yearbook contained a photo of him in a Klan outfit. Or possibly in blackface, he says he can’t really remember. Either way, his explanation consisted of not much more than a shrug. And yet he kept his job, because he’s a Democrat and the only viable replacement at the time was a Republican. (The next two guys in the line of succession were another accused racist and an accused rapist. Good going, Virginia!). Power won, because power always wins. Even when it means proving that the Democrats don’t actually care about fighting racism.

I don’t really let statues bother me, because, well… they’re statues. They don’t make me angry, because they’re just inanimate objects. The only way a statue can hurt you is if it falls on you while you’re tearing it down. I avoid this danger by not tearing them down.

Hell, there’s a statue of Vladimir Lenin in Seattle, and you don’t see anybody trying to knock it over. That evil bastard caused much more human suffering than Robert E. Lee ever did, and a statue of him isn’t hurting anybody.

(That’s just my privilege talking, of course. I can be so blasé about it because I’ve never been a victim of communism. Well, except for Obamacare.)

It seems like these cycles of moral panic over stupid Confederate crap are hitting us more and more frequently, doesn’t it? The last one was just a few months ago. The Woke Brigade was in such a panic, they were even thinking about banning The Dukes of Hazzard. Do you have any idea how many people have been instantly transformed into racists by watchin’ them Duke boys pull one over on Boss Hogg again and again?

But sure, go ahead. Tear down all the statues. It doesn’t even need to be a Confederate monument. Any dead white guy will do, even Abraham Lincoln himself. Vandalize it, tear it down, congratulate yourself on your wokeness. It’s not like we’ve got any other problems these days, right?

Isn’t your daily life better, now that you don’t have to look at that statue you weren’t looking at anyway?

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