News & Politics

Biden to Trump: How About a Push-Up Contest?

Biden to Trump: How About a Push-Up Contest?
Then Vice President Joe Biden speaks at a campaign event for Hillary Clinton on Sept. 1, 2016, in Cleveland. (AP Photo/David Dermer)

If elected, Joseph Robinette Biden Jr. would be the oldest person to ever become president of anything, let alone the United States of America. On January 20, 2021, he will be 78 years young. That would shatter the record set by Donald Trump, who was 70 when he put his hand on that Bible. And Trump edged out Ronald Reagan, who was first sworn in at the age of 69.* But if you think Joe’s gonna let a whippersnapper like Trump call him an old man, you’ve got another thing comin’, buddy.

John Wagner, WaPo:

If President Trump makes of fun of his age or questions his mental state during a debate, Joe Biden has a response at the ready: He’ll challenge him to do push-ups on stage.

The former vice president relayed his plans during an interview on MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” in which he was pressed on whether he is tough enough to stand up to Trump given what many saw as a lackluster performance in the first Democratic debate…

“I’d say, ‘C’mon Donald, c’mon man. How many push-ups do you want to do here, pal?’” Biden said.

Biden’s not dumb. Watch him do push-ups!

I don’t want to say ol’ Joe’s mind is going, because I’m not sure “mind” is even the right word for it. But does he know what year it is? Lately he’s been covering Obama’s greatest hits:

It’s easy to make fun of old people, which is why I enjoy it. A Biden/Trump matchup would be the Grumpy Old Men sequel nobody wanted. It would make the 2016 election look like an episode of Andi Mack. Forget voting records, we’d all be digging up fossil records.

If Biden gets the Dem nomination, why even hold an election at all? We should decide it the way we decided the Cold War:

Okay, maybe not.

Of course, this is assuming the Democrats put aside their obsession with identity politics and nominate yet another old white dude. If you’ve been following the highly entertaining feud between the establishment Dems, represented by Nancy Pelosi, and “The Squad,” under queen bee AOC, you know that the only winner there will be the Republicans. As Dems claw each other’s eyes out over who’s the most racist, will voters’ hatred for Trump override their hatred for each other? Will #OrangeManBad be enough to drive them to the polls for one of these several dozen duds on display?

I know who I want to see debating with Trump, and it sure ain’t Joe. Sorry, Kamala, but my heart now belongs to another: