News & Politics

Mankind Must Eat Maggots and Insects for 'Sustainability,' Say Evil Scientists

Disney Promotional Image

A few months ago, noted film critic Sonny Bunch observed that “environmentalists make good movie villains because they want to make your real life worse.” Bunch cited evil misanthropists like Thanos, and Samuel L. Jackson in the first Kingsman movie, and whoever the bad guy was in Aquaman. Those jerks saw genocide as an act of self-defense, citing mankind’s abuse of the environment. Everything would be great, they reasoned, without all those damn people.

Environmentalists can’t snap their fingers and wipe out half of humanity (yet), so they have to come up with other ways to make everybody miserable. They scold us for every modern convenience we enjoy, from plastic drinking straws to air-conditioning. They fly around the world to complain about people flying around the world. Now they’re even gluing themselves to things in public places, just to make life tougher for working people. Tree-huggers really are awful.

But every time you think enviros have sunk to a new low, once again they knock out the bottom of the biodegradable barrel. Hannah Sparks, NY Post:

Food scientists at the University of Queensland in Brisbane, Australia are incorporating insects such as maggots and locusts into a range of specialty foods, including sausage, as well as formulating sustainable insect-based feeds for the livestock themselves…

In 2013, a Food and Agriculture Organization (FAO) of the United Nations report urged global citizens to eat more insects, which, compared to conventional meats, are nutritious, cheaper to produce and more sustainable. Inspired by the report and other studies, several snack makers have marketed insect-based products in the US, including Chirps chips and Chapul protein bars.

Please allow me to retort:

No.

No f***ing way. I will not be eating a maggot-dog, or a locust-burger, or chocolate-covered ants, or whatever hellish concoction these repulsive fiends dream up. Doesn’t anybody remember The Lost Boys?

Sane people watch this and understand that Kiefer was the bad guy. Scientists watch this and say, “Gee, what a great idea!”

We wave flies away from our food, not into it. Just say no to bugs.