News & Politics

Today's Outrage: White People Trying to Eat Burger King Sandwiches with Chopsticks

Before the internet, angry people had limited options for complaining that every single thing in the entire world is racist. A crank with a grievance could yell at his (or her!) TV, or stand on a street corner haranguing passersby, or maybe start a newsletter, but that was about it. With the advent of social media and the 24/7 news cycle, such tiresome scolds can now attract a global audience just by whining about the most harmless things imaginable.

Yesterday I told you about the morons who are ticked off at a white lady for daring to open a Chinese restaurant. (Imagine that: Loving another culture so much that you’re willing to take such an enormous personal and financial risk! The shame of it all.) Today’s outrage is a dumb Burger King ad with a bunch of white people trying to eat a sandwich with chopsticks.

Seriously. That’s what you’re supposed to be upset about.

Reuters:

Burger King pulled a promotional video in New Zealand showing customers trying to eat burgers with chopsticks after it sparked an outcry in China and demands for an apology from the U.S. fast food chain.

The video posted on a franchisee’s Instagram account showed Westerners with an oversized chopstick in each hand struggling to eat the company’s new “Vietnamese Sweet Chilli Tendercrisp Burger.”

And here’s a quote from the single, solitary Twitter user who kicked off the global outrage, @mariahmocarey, who has since deleted protected her account:

“I’m so sick of racism. Of any kind. Of the kind that makes fun of different cultures, to the kind that shoots and murders those peacefully praying in their place of worship. Say no to every single manifestation of it.”

That’s right, a dopey burger ad is on the same continuum as the New Zealand mosque shooter. The two things are connected, and if you can’t see that, well, you must be a racist.

I can’t find the horribly offensive and insensitive ad anywhere, but here are some screenshots for your disbelieving eyes. Prepare yourself for the unbridled horror:

That’s it. That’s the big deal.

If that triggers you, I guess you have the right to your hurt feelings. But… isn’t the joke on the clueless white people? They don’t know how to use chopsticks. It’s not because chopsticks are bad, it’s because they’re dorks. Ha ha, look at those dummies.

BREAKING NEWS: Clumsy People Are Funny

Burger King has capitulated, of course, as all brands are expected to do whenever anybody claims offense. Well, almost anybody. I never got an apology for the trauma I experienced after witnessing the Subservient Chicken and those creepy ads with the guy in the smiling Burger King mask, but I guess my hurt feelings don’t count.

Update: Here’s what all the fuss is about.