News & Politics

Charlize Theron Is Almost Pretty Enough to Play Megyn Kelly

(Images via AP)

The Harvey Weinstein scandal was a real eye-opener for a lot of us. We’d always suspected that Hollywood was venal and immoral and repulsive, but I don’t think we understood how industrialized the corruption is. Weinstein set up an elaborate multi-step system specifically to prey on women and get away with it, and he had plenty of help. A lot of people enabled his behavior, because their careers depended on it. They turned a blind eye because they wanted to be rich and famous. They happily served as diligent workers on an assembly line of rape. Then they thanked him onstage at the Oscars.

The torrent of accusations and allegations that began last fall has now slowed to a trickle, but every week or two we see yet another story of yet another Hollywood scumbag getting busted for being a huge pervert. It feels like we’ve only scratched the surface. You just know there are more Harvey Weinsteins out there.

But apparently, Hollywood is all done soul-searching about the problem. A few hashtags and awards-show speeches fixed it. They CGI’ed out all the bad guys and replaced them with Christopher Plummer. So now that they’ve cleaned up their own backyard, they can start digging through the other guy’s trash.

Borys Kit and Mia Galuppo, Hollywood Reporter:

Charlize Theron and director Jay Roach are teaming to tell the tale of disgraced Fox News chairman Roger Ailes…

Theron will portray Megyn Kelly, a former lawyer who was a Fox News anchor for over a decade, rising up through the ranks from legal contributor to host of the popular series The Kelly File

Roach has gained acclaim for taking on real-life political events in his movies, such as the 2000 presidential election and the Sarah Palin-centric feature Game Change.

Sounds like a real crowd-pleaser. I can’t wait to be scolded some more by the same industry that enabled Harvey Weinstein. And Bill Cosby. And Woody Allen. And Donald Trump. And Danny Masterson. And Bryan Singer. And T.J. Miller. And James Franco. And John Kricfalusi. And Andrew Kreisberg. And…

Over the past 20 years, Jay Roach has gone from directing the Austin Powers movies to defaming Sarah Palin and mythologizing Dalton Trumbo. So this movie should be, um, fair and balanced?

It took five decades for Hollywood to make a movie about Ted Kennedy and Chappaquiddick. Roger Ailes did a lot of bad things, allegedly, but at least he never killed anybody. Probably.

What’s the audience for this movie, anyway? Pretty much nobody likes Megyn Kelly anymore. Libs hate her because she used to work at Fox News, and Trump fans hate her because she no longer works at Fox News. Everybody else is mildly to moderately indifferent. And movies about real-life TV journalists don’t tend to do well at the box office. (Just ask Dan Rather.)

At least Theron will be good, because Theron is always good. It’ll be interesting to see her portray a real-life person who’s actually more attractive than she is. Sort of like Monster in reverse.

And I can’t wait to see her re-create this magic moment in morning TV history:

Maybe they’ll reenact the fight scene from Mad Max: Fury Road, but with Megyn Kelly vs. Roger Ailes. Two evenly matched opponents, scrabbling for survival in a desolate, inhospitable landscape. (Although I guess Ailes is more like Immortan Joe than Mad Max. Immortan Roger? “Do not become addicted to ratings! They will take hold of you, and you will resent their absence!”) Or she could knock Ailes through the wall with one punch, like she did to Will Smith in the criminally underrated Hancock.

I don’t know, guys, I’m just trying to think of ways to make a watchable movie about this subject. I’m not sure it can be done. Which is too bad, because Ailes would’ve been a perfect role for Kevin Spacey.