Poor Little Rich Hipsters

In the midst of a recession, the New York Times wants to make sure you remember the people most affected by these “tough economic times.”

That’s why they brought us articles like “Parental Lifelines, Frayed to Breaking.” In this down economy, the Times seems to believe that people like Eric Gross deserve to have their plight publicized and to receive your sympathy.

Eric, a 26-year-old construction worker, is reeling from the news that his parents might not be able to help him buy a one-bedroom New York City condo that’s going for $600,000. Let’s all shed a tear for Eric and the trust fund kids of Williamsburg who find themselves having to actually work to pay the exorbitant rents of their hipster neighborhood:

Luis Illades, an owner of the Urban Rustic Market and Cafe on North 12th Street, said he had seen a steady number of applicants, in their late 20s, who had never held paid jobs: They were interns at a modeling agency, for example, or worked at a college radio station. In some cases, applicants have stormed out of the market after hearing the job requirements. “They say, ‘You want me to work eight hours?’ ” Mr. Illades said. “There is a bubble bursting.”

These kids are headed back home to mommy and daddy, unable to make it in a world where they wish to live like kings — kings who have inherited their kingdoms instead of going to war for them — and not realizing they are nothing more than proletariat:

Famed for its concentration of heavily subsidized 20-something residents — also nicknamed trust-funders or trustafarians — Williamsburg is showing signs of trouble. Parents whose money helped fuel one of the city’s most radical gentrifications in recent years have stopped buying their children new luxury condos, subsidizing rents and providing cash to spend at Bedford Avenue’s boutiques and coffee houses.

These are not children. They are adults. And now that they have to start thinking and acting like adults, they have no idea how. Get a job? Make my own money? You can’t be serious! These spoiled brats are now being foisted on a world that looks at them with disdain — just as the Williamsburg residents who actually make their own money do.

You know what? The parents deserve these kids. They deserve to have the spoiled results of their parenting ideals living with them. Because no one else deserves them. These parents have raised a generation of children who will never know the value of money, who will have no work ethic, and whose sense of entitlement will earn them the scorn of every hard-working peer they run into. While these kids spend their week nights — and their parents’ money — drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon at some obscure club watching a band you’ll never hear of and feeling smug about it, adults their age work and study because there are no handouts or jobs waiting for them in the family business.

That the New York Times believes anyone but the spoiled trustafarians themselves are interested — let alone moved — by this story leads one to believe they might be a little out of touch with the people. Sure, the Times often caters to people whose net worth is more than the average person’s, but times like these might call for a little more restraint.

The Times isn’t the only paper guilty of this kind of coverage. Back in May, Newsday ran an article about luxury stores and wealthy shoppers in Great Neck being hit hard by the recession. People facing tough decisions in a tight economy do not want to hear the inane opinions of a Prada sales clerk, nor are they empathetic because some still-rich woman had to stuff her luxury purchases into one bag for fear of showing up her newly poor friend. Take note, Newsday and the New York Times. Nobody cares about the suffering of the rich.

Or the faux suffering of a spoiled generation.