Millennial Tantrums Signal a Huge Boomer Parenting Fail

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How did we get here? There are 18-year-olds (in other words, grown-ass adults) curled up in the fetal position in collegiate safe spaces rocking and crying because their favorite candidate lost an election. I’m not making this up or exaggerating for effect. Here is the evidence.


Some of them are even in the White House.

They’re having cry-ins (which are supposed to be like sit-ins except lamer, with crying, coloring books, and lattes on hand to assuage the feelings of the perpetually offended). This new turn of American sensibilities makes me want to start a petition to change the lyrics of the National Anthem to the “land of the free and the home of the … oh f*** it.” Let’s just turn ourselves over to the Chinese already. We don’t deserve our independence when the next generation coming to rule us all needs a softie and a nap when handed disappointment.

What have you done, parents? I’m speaking to the parents of the current college-aged child. What have you done? Was it the participation trophies? The helicoptering? Never letting them lose? I want to know so that I do not make the same mistake when raising my own young brood. Like most things the Boomers unleashed on the world, their millennial children are profoundly despicable, immature, entitled, privileged, volatile, ignorant brats intent on getting their way despite rules, laws, and the rights of others.


Are you proud yet, Boomers? Does your heart just sing with joy when you see your little Suzy marching around cities hurling invectives at people who disagree with her politically while spray-painting profanity on private property? Do you give her an extra cookie when she comes home to your basement each night for being such an impassioned little monster? You’ve raised a generation of incompetents who can’t build anything, invent anything (except false narratives and accusations), hold jobs, write decent sentences, or hold debates beyond screaming, “you’re racist!” at their opponents. Some of them are even trying to frame innocent people for hate crimes in the name of social justice. You did this, Mom and Dad.

Please share with us exactly how you did this, so the rest of us with younger children can benefit from your mistakes. Because whatever it was, you failed miserably to do your one job: raise decent human beings. I have a few ideas how it happened. Please let me know if I’ve missed any.

  1. No spankings
  2. Never saying “no”
  3. Being a friend first instead of a parent
  4. Buying them birth control instead of teaching them self-control
  5. Not allowing them to keep score: no winners, no losers
  6. Buying them gender-neutral toys
  7. Not allowing others to scold them (teachers, neighbors, etc.)
  8. Not taking them to church or raising them with faith
  9. Terrorizing them with anti-conservative messaging to the point they can’t function when a Republican wins elected office
  10. Enrolling them in public schools and sending them to public universities

For God’s sake (and America’s) parents of young children, don’t let yours grow up to be this unhinged and incapable of rational thought. If you haven’t decided to homeschool yet, now might be a great time.


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