The Rules for the Utah Democratic Convention Are… Interesting

So, the Utah Democratic Party is having its organizing convention this weekend. In case you were wondering, no, I will not be attending as a member of the press, undercover or otherwise. For one thing, I figure we should just let them be; they have enough to worry about right now. For another thing, it is being held in one of the cities on the north end of the state, and I'm not driving 90 minutes to put myself through that. It was all I could do to force myself to sit through the GOP conventions when I was a state delegate. There aren't enough free t-shirts in the world to get me to do that again.

I find it odd that the convention is being held at a high school. Typically, state Republican conventions are held in arenas or convention centers to accommodate the crowds, which are usually quite sizable. Maybe the Dems don't need that much room this year. Notably, this year's convention schedule includes the Pledge of Allegiance, the National Anthem, and an invocation. Predictably, there will also be a land acknowledgment. 

I have always found state conventions to be mind-numbing affairs. Sure, there are the booths where you can get candy, cookies, and various tchotchkes that you eventually throw out (Spencer Cox handed out hotdogs one year, which was a nice change of pace), but all in all, they are boring events unless someone decides to raise hell about something, which usually surfaces as a point of order or a pointless motion. Although, I hear their conventions go a lot faster than ours. 

This year's Democratic gathering has some interesting rules for attendees. I'm not sure if the rules are because the event is being held at a high school, someone is expecting trouble, or a few people needed a talking-to during past conventions. At any rate, for this year's convention, there will be no boisterous conduct. Vandalism is also prohibited. People are not permitted to appropriate, use, or abuse someone else's supplies or equipment without permission. So, no stealing.

Prohibited items include (but are not necessarily limited to):

• guns 
• knives 
• other weapons 
• toy guns
• water pistols 
• bean shooters 
• sling shots
• hard balls 
• megaphones, air horns, and “all other noisemaking or noise-enhancing devices, and other similar paraphernalia.”
• sports equipment
• e-cigarettes 
• vape pens 
• nicotine gum
• chewing tobacco

Bean shooters? Just what the hell has been going on at these things to necessitate a ban on bean shooters? I get that, since the convention is at a public high school, tobacco products are not permitted, but somehow I never associated chewing tobacco with the Democratic party. 

And then there is this:

No hay or animals are allowed in convention facilities, except for service animals for individuals with disabilities.

Who brings hay to a convention?* You know what? Just never mind. Of course, if any delegate (or candidate) identifies as a dolphin, possum, or Clydesdale, it looks like they will be sitting this one out. Unless, of course, they identify as a service possum.

*Actually, in this part of the county, it is not uncommon for "urban" candidates to surround themselves with straw or hay bales and don cowboy hats and boots to appeal to rural constituents. It usually doesn't work, and no one believes them.

You may not be headed to a convention this weekend, but it's always political season in America these days. At PJ Media, we're happy to keep an eye on things for you. If you'd like to help us mind the store, consider becoming a VIP member. For less money per month than the cost of a bean shooter, you can support the work we do. Click here and use promo code FIGHT for 60% off.