Happy Friday, Gentle Readers,
I pray this missive finds you well. Spring cleaning was on the docket for this weekend at Stately Brown Manor. However, we got about two inches of snow overnight in a later winter storm. We have a few days before it melts and the backyard dries out. We have two dogs, and as dog owners will tell you, dogs + wet backyard = nothing stays clean for long.
Fear of a nuclear Britain
Conservatives and everyone with an IQ incrementally higher than that of a ficus tree know that Donald Trump often engages in hyperbole as a negotiating tactic and sometimes just for the sport of it. That said, if one is a progressive, Democrat, liberal, or whatever term one uses in one's country of residence, a jape from President Trump is tantamount to one of the signs of the Apocalypse. Then again, these folx are so addicted to making every event in the world the subject of the next telenovela that they may actually believe it.
For allegedly being the world's cultural and intellectual betters, they wouldn't know a joke if it crawled up their legs and bit them on a part they were planning on having removed during transition surgery. To steal a line from the TV version of "Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy," these people are so unhip it's a wonder their butts don't fall off.
Speaking of jokes, things may be a little tense with Canada over tariffs at the moment, but everyone knows that the U.S. isn't going to make Canada the 51st state and that Justin Trudeau is still the Prime Minister until the election. Okay, there is a joke there, but I'll let you hash that out in the comments section.
That, however, did not stop a member of Trudeau's Liberal party from suggesting that her country strengthen ties with the U.K. Her rationale? The U.K. and NATO could use nukes — yes, nukes — to protect Canada from Donald Trump. Chrystia Freeland, Trudeau's former deputy prime minister and a candidate for her boss's former slot, feels that the threat of Trump annexing the Great White North is dire enough to merit potential military intervention from NATO and the United Kingdom.
From The Telegraph:
In order to “guarantee our security,” Ms. Freeland said she would build closer security partnerships with European NATO allies and “I would be sure that France and Britain were there, who possess nuclear weapons.”
“I would be working urgently with those partners to build a closer security relationship… in a time when the United States can be a threat,” said the ex-foreign minister and finance minister at the final Liberal leadership debate last week.
Who knew TDS was so contagious?
Alberta Premier Danielle Smith had a few thoughts:
“I think that that was an insane thing to say. As if somehow we’re going to have a nuclear threat from the United States or counter some kind of nuclear threat,” Ms. Smith told The Telegraph.
“The U.S. is our friend and allied security partner,” she said, citing the North American Aerospace Defense Command (NORAD) alliance, in which Canada and the United States share air defense of the continent.
“During 9/11, it was a Canadian commander that was giving direction on North American airspace on where those planes needed to land [he redirected U.S. air traffic to Canadian bases]. That’s how integrated we are on the security front.”
“So anyone suggesting otherwise is just being silly.”
I think Britain has enough on its plate right now. Didn't PM Keir Starmer just advocate for boots on the ground in Ukraine? Aren't they busy rounding up people who post mean things on social media? Don't all the NATO nations need to sort out all of the immigrant violence at home? Like they have the time to send subs over here to nuke us.
More to the point: Look, Ms. Freeland, no one wants Canada. Most of us were hoping you Canucks might take in our green-haired, nose-ringed psychopaths, campus protesters, aging hippies, and their flags. And who knows? If you do that, Trump might even make some tariff concessions.
Other than that, we already have hockey teams, we make our own maple syrup, and Rush hasn't toured in years. I went to college in Michigan, and once in a while, we would make a run to Windsor for Labatts, but I can get better beer at the microbrewery down the street, where I can also get a cheeseburger. So take off, you hoser.
Wine recommendation
Because I'm all out of beer, and there's no way I'm going to Canada.
We've had what, two weeks of whites? How about a nice red? Let me introduce you to the 2020 Paringa Shiraz.
This product from South Australia is an excellent Shiraz. It's not too dry, with a bold start and great balance in tannins and acidity. According to the winery, the grapes are fermented in their skins for anywhere from 14 to 21 days before the wine is aged for 18 months in French oak casks. You can expect some dark fruits, including plums and cherries, with a little chocolate and some vanilla notes. There are hints of smoke, pear, and a dash of pepper. All in all, a satisfying glass. This is one of those wines that will go nicely with game, beef, or a nice, juicy lamb steak, but it does just as well on the coffee table as it does on the dining table.
That's it for me. Have a great weekend, and I'll see you next time.
Before I check out for the week, may I suggest thinking about becoming a VIP member? You will pay less per week than a sixer of Labatts, and you won't have to drive nearly as far. Besides, you get the chance to have your say in the comments section, send a DM to your favorite writer, and even check out our merch store, which I am told will be getting some nifty new products soon. Alas, no one liked my corkscrew idea, but there is still plenty of cool stuff to be had. Click here and use the promo code FIGHT to claim a 60% discount.
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