Okay, welcome everyone to our seminar on federal entitlement. If we could all just get our coffee and fruit cups and find a seat, we will exchange pronouns, confess our privilege, and recite the land acknowledgment. My name is Lincoln B. I am the facilitator, and my pronouns are drop/dead. Before we get started, does everyone feel safe? Is anyone triggered? Yes, you in the back...you feel unsafe and triggered? Nobody cares, Moonbeam. If you want to get out of here on time, shut up and eat your ethically sourced bran muffin.
To help put our seminar into perspective, I'd like to begin with three examples from my own lived experience.
Back when I was in radio, I was asked if I would like to apply for the Public Affairs position at the National Forest. While I am a conservative and a capitalist, I love national forests and parks and think they are worth preserving. I always feel a little somber when I see a new high-end house going up on a mountainside. I hate to see our wildlands torn up for McMansions, although I have always been perplexed why a temporary oil and gas rig on public lands means the end of the world, but a gigantic, multi-million dollar permanent home does not. I guess you have to live in Aspen to understand that kind of logic. But I digress.
I jumped at the chance. I had years of experience writing news articles and conducting interviews. Moreover, I knew the community and, by extension, the audience. I was also passionate about forests. So, I put together my resume and writing samples and was ready to apply. Then I was told that the job had been given to one of the manager's friends, who had zero experience in media or public affairs.
Okay, there were other fish in the sea. I decided to apply for a job at another forest in a different part of the country. The job was listed on a Tuesday. It closed at 9:00 on Wednesday morning. Only hand-delivered applications were accepted. Right. Totally above-board.
However, let me put a cherry on top of all of that for you. If you are old enough, you may remember when the government shut down under Obama. You may also remember that was when federal employees put up barriers along the road so people driving by would not be able to see Mt. Rushmore. But it gets classier. One Sunday at church, a woman who worked for the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service stormed up to me with a press release in her hand. She was furious that she had been given time off, even though she would receive back pay. But she wanted everyone in town to know how put out she and all the other federal workers were. Of course, at the time, Obama's DOI was gutting the oil and gas industry. People were losing jobs, running out of food, and facing foreclosure with zero guarantees that they would ever find work again. That didn't even occur to her. After all, she and her co-workers had to take a two-week break.
I mentioned these stories to show you examples of the hubris that all too often has become a hallmark of federal employment. These people seem to forget that not only do the rest of us pay their salaries, it is our money that funds their medical care and their pensions. Yes, there are federal employees who are dedicated and hard-working, but we aren't hearing from them. But what is on full display is the anguish and anger displayed by federal employees who now must actually leave their homes and go to their workplace, like people have been doing forever. The Washington Times noted:
“Nobody is liking that,” said Kyra Toland, a budget analyst with the Department of Labor who has worked in the federal government for over three decades.
Ms. Toland said federal employees — particularly those in data-driven jobs like hers — have a proven track record of getting things done remotely.
“We showed that we could do it,” she said.
It isn’t just the rank-and-file. The American Federation of Government Employees also has its nose out of joint. Union president Everett Kelley stated:
To justify this backward action, lawmakers and members of President Trump’s transition team have spent months exaggerating the number of federal employees who telework and accusing those who do of failing to perform the duties of their jobs. The truth is that less than half of all federal jobs are eligible for telework, and the workers who are eligible to telework still spend most of their work hours at their regular duty stations.
That may be, but when the union members howl over working conditions to which many in the U.S. must adhere, it is hard to muster much sympathy, particularly when you know such people are quickly on their way up the GS scale.
People are losing their minds because @POTUS @realDonaldTrump is forcing them back into the office. 😂. Someone sent me this one but there are tons apparently of people threatening that they're going to quit. pic.twitter.com/L1tW6NfMUb
— Jennifer (@Smileatyou2day) January 21, 2025
Good. pic.twitter.com/WrY58bKIEQ
— Rothmus 🏴 (@Rothmus) January 23, 2025
To add fuel to the fire, some federal employees are attempting to garner support by venting their anger on local businesses:
Over on Reddit, federal employees are in a total meltdown that President Trump has ordered them to return to the office and get back to work. Right now, the top suggestion is for employees to boycott all the local small businesses near their office — the restaurants, grocery… pic.twitter.com/sGP9Pu83ln
— Charlie Kirk (@charliekirk11) January 23, 2025
I can already feel the tears of empathy for these government workers welling in my eyes. Wait, sorry, that was a piece of sauerkraut.
All because they have to put on pants and show up to the office.
Thank you for attending our seminar today. If you didn't get anything out of it, well, the same can be said for your tax dollars.
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